Page 37 of First Base

Flash.

I was sure those photographs would be everywhere tomorrow with my distressed face as the focus. The headlines were going to be horrible. I was only hoping that they wouldn’t be complete monsters and that they’d leave Luke out of it.

But it seemed the world was only meant to laugh at me today because as Tommy and I entered the safety of his car, my phone rang and my mom’s name flashed across the screen.

“Mom?” I asked.

“Oh, honey.” My heart sank at the tone of her voice. I didn’t even have to ask to know that whatever it was she was about to say wasn’t going to be good. “Have you seen it?”

“Seen what?”

There was a pause on the other end that made me grip my phone tighter.

“I’ll send it to you.” Another pause. “Your dad and I love you, honey. Let us know if you need anything.”

My phone buzzed, and I pulled it away from my ear when I heard the click of the line from my mom hanging up. Every part of me wanted to throw my phone out the window instead of opening whatever message was waiting for me. I was faintly aware of Tommy trying to ask me what was wrong as I clicked on the link in my mom’s messages, but it was like he was speaking in a tunnel. The article loaded and my heart dropped, my worst fear being confirmed.

The picture must have been taken off my parents’ or my social media accounts. It was the same picture that was framed on their mantel. I quickly scanned the article, feeling hotter with every second.

Maggie Redford, a photographer for the Chicago Cougars and recently attached to the Cougars’ star shortstop, Tommy Mikals, was previously engaged to Luke Greenberg. The two met their freshman year and were engaged by the end of their junior year. Longtime college friends of the couple tell NewsWeekly of their insatiable energy for each other. Where one half of the couple was spotted, the other would never be far away. Their love was undeniable, and they both knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together early on. However, tragedy struck when Luke passed away in a car accident that had Maggie Redford behind the wheel.

“Maggie!” Tommy’s hand gently laid over the screen, finally drawing my attention to him. “What’s going on?”

My eyes danced across his face, taking in the sharp cut of his jawline with the slight stubble that had started to grow in. His blue eyes were a darker hue tonight than normal. The slight crease between his eyebrows showed me how worried he was about me. And the way his body was turned toward me, like if there wasn’t a center console between us, he’d hold me forever to protect me from the world.

I started to shake my head, unable to speak the words. I didn’t even know where to start. While keeping his eyes on me, he gently pried the phone from my hands and glanced down at the article so he could read it himself. It was ages before he lifted his eyes back to mine again. I was afraid that I would find disgust there when I finally looked into them again, but instead I saw understanding. He was putting the dots together between the picture in my parents’ house, my reaction to his question, and this article.

“Maggie, I am so sorry.”

The anguish that laced his voice made me realize that he wasn’t necessarily apologizing for what had happened, which I was grateful for. Once you hear it about a hundred times, it begins to grate on you. He was apologizing for putting me in a position where the most private parts of my life would be shared with the world.

But I had to remind myself, none of this was only his fault. I had signed that contract willingly. I never thought it would come to this though. Tommy didn’t say anything else. He sat with me in the silence of his car, giving me the space I needed to feel ready to speak. It was the most perfect thing he could have done, and I was so thankful for him.

“Can we go back to your place?” I asked once I was sure my voice wouldn’t fail me. Tommy immediately put the car in drive and took off down the road. His presence was the only thing keeping me grounded as we drove through the streets of Chicago. The only bright part of that moment was the city lights out the window, slightly blurred in the tears that fell from my eyes.

Maggie

Neither of us spoke again until we were inside Tommy’s house. He hovered near me as we walked to the couch. I knew he was probably scared I would drop right where I stood, but enough time had passed that I was strong enough to stand on my own two feet. Tommy draped a blanket over my legs after I had curled up in the corner of his couch. He took a seat on the opposite side. Part of me knew he was only giving me space, but the distance was an abyss.

Tommy watched me, his eyes soft. I was beginning to wonder how I had deserved someone like him to walk into my life. It was like life had known what was coming for me this summer and had gifted me someone who was patient and understanding. Someone I didn’t deserve. But because of Tommy’s patience with me, I knew I owed him an explanation.

The truth was ugly though, and I worried that once Tommy knew it, whatever was happening between us would come to a screeching halt.

“His name was Luke,” I started, my fingers playing with the edge of the blanket for comfort. “We met on the first day of our freshman year of college.”

Tommy stayed quiet as I finally gave him the part of me that I had been holding back this entire time. His gaze stayed steady and even on me, his patience unwavering. I held on to that steadiness like a life raft as I continued telling him about some of the best and worst moments of my life.

“I’d never dated anyone like him. Everything he did was like living out loud. He wore his emotions on his sleeve, he treated me like I was the most important thing in the world, and he constantly pushed me to be better.” The tears started, like they always did when I remembered everything he was. “He never did get me to show up anywhere on time, though.”

Tommy barked a laugh, and I gave him a grateful smile. He wasn’t dumb. He knew something bad had happened between me and Luke; it was the what he was waiting for.

“He proposed to me the summer before our senior year. We’d never been happier. My parents invited us over to celebrate our engagement and the start of our senior year at the beginning of August almost four years ago now. We were three streets away—” I choked at the thought. We had been minutes away from walking into my parents’ house together that night.

“I looked away from the road for two seconds to peer over at him. He’d been talking about my mom’s oatmeal cookies. He loved those stupid cookies. When I looked back . . .” My voice broke off again as I remembered the car lights heading right at us, driving down the wrong side of the road. I squeezed the blanket in my hands as I worked up the courage to continue. “When I looked back at the road, there was a car driving down the wrong side. Right at us. I didn’t even have time to react and save us.”

I brought my hands up to cover my face as I took deep breaths, trying to stop the flood of tears. Part of me wondered how many more tears I had left to cry in my life. I was sure I’d spent them all already.

“Luke died on impact. I made it out with only a few scrapes.” A few more tears fell down my cheeks as the familiar guilt roared to the surface. “How is that even fair?”

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