Page 18 of Desperate Vows

CLAIRE

I wish I’d considered how it might look to go out with Lucas. For the last six months, my every move was dictated, even more so after my mom passed. I didn’t understand when I was younger, and I still wouldn’t understand if I hadn’t found out about the trust fund.

As Lucas’s slick black sports car pulled up, I hesitated. If my father didn’t approve… I ran my finger over the smooth band of the engagement ring Lucas gave me. He was my fiancé. How would it look if I didn’t go out with him? Appearances, Claire.

He jumped out, walked around the front, and opened the door for me. Taking my chin in his fingers, he gave me a chaste kiss. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

His eyebrows knitted together. “What’s wrong?”

I shrugged. “I… never mind.” I slipped into the car, buckled my seatbelt, and he stared at me for a second before strolling around the front of the car and getting behind the wheel. I thought he’d let it go, but I wasn’t that lucky.

“Never mind what?” he asked.

How did I tell this man-candy that I’d never been on a date? I wasn’t allowed.

“Claire, what did we say about lying?”

I groaned. “I’ve never been on a date. There, are you happy?”

He eyed me. “Franklin said you weren’t pure, so did you just skip the dating part?”

Embarrassment, mortification, and shame mixed and turned my stomach. There was no way I could eat now. I angled away from Lucas. I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t talk about this with him. “I guess so.” That seemed the path of least resistance. I caught the tears racing down my cheek with the back of my hand.

“Do I need to remind you about lying?”

I crossed my arms over my chest. I’d let him cut my tongue out before I uttered another word about it.

I was thrown against the window as Lucas took a sharp turn and pulled into a parking lot, slamming the gear into park. “Now, we can sit here until you talk to me.”

“Then you better be prepared to sit here a while.”

The silence lingered. It was getting awkward and uncomfortable. Normally, I would’ve caved because I was weak, but I just couldn’t.

“I don’t get you.” His face relayed the same confusion.

I looked at Lucas over my shoulder. “Get what?”

“It’s like you and Franklin are at war, but I can’t tell if it’s strategic or what.”

What was he talking about? “Can you please just take me home?”

“Miss your dad, huh?”

“I hate him,” I hissed. The words were out before I could stop them. I didn’t care either because I did. I hated him. Of all the horrible things my father had done…to tell Lucas I wasn’t pure. It made my skin crawl. As if that human piece of garbage gave me a choice.

I wiped my face faster and faster, and I couldn’t keep up. Big fat drops of tears were hitting my jeans and sprinkling the seats. “Please…” I couldn’t even choke out the rest of the sentence.

The latch on my seatbelt clicked, and before I realized what was happening, Lucas drew me to him. “It’s okay, Claire. I’m here.”

I didn’t want him holding me. I didn’t want his comfort or his stupid warmth, and yet, I couldn’t help but curl my hands under my chin and bury my face in his chest. I was a sobbing mess. His three-thousand-dollar suit was getting snot all over it, and I couldn’t bring myself to move or care.

His arms tightened around me, and he set his cheek on top of my head. I kept waiting for the platitudes. The fixes. The prodding. But he just held me—something I’d wanted and longed for and needed.

Why couldn’t he just let me hate him?

“How about we start over?” His voice was low and soothing. “I don’t want to know what happened until I’ve earned your trust, and you freely give me the information. And if you never tell me, that’s okay too. I’m here. I’ll hold you without a requirement or reciprocation. I’ll hold you because you need to be held. I’ll hold you because I can’t not hold you when you’re breaking my heart.”

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