Page 35 of Mayhem

“Let’s get them settled, then figure out what to do next.” He nods and takes a step back.?

“Her name is Harper, by the way.” He divulges with a sad smile.

“Good to know. Can you take her so I can get up?” I smile at him. He takes her from my arms, and she starts to cry. He holds her tighter, whispering sweet words into her ear as she settles.?

“She really likes you,” I breathe. Spade puts his hand out, and I take it; he pulls me up gently, careful not to wake the little boy sleeping in my arms. He places his hand on my cheek. I try to pull away, but he doesn’t let me. He caresses my scar.?

“You’re still as gorgeous as ever, Babygirl.” He gently kisses my lips. I spin away and get out of there as tears spill from my eyes. Why does he always have to be so emotional? Everything with Spade is heavy. He shouldn’t forgive me. He should have killed me for what I did, but maybe because of tonight’s events and being in this little bubble with these children, it made us—I don’t know.?

“Jade, stop running from me.” He calls out. I spin, walking straight for him.?

“I’m not running, but we cannot hash this out right now.” I whisper-yell, holding the tiny head to my chest, covering his ears, hoping not to wake him.

“Stay with me tonight?” He grabs my hand, and I let him. Of course, I let him. My brain, as always, is telling me to stay the fuck away; but my heart is yearning for his touch, for his obsessive love.

“We will see how the night goes.” He nods, and we both head out where everyone else is.?

Getting an obscene number of blow-up mattresses, blankets, and pillows takes a few hours. The snowstorm is approaching fast, so we need to be prepared here with these kids or find their parents immediately. Spade already placed a call to his people, and it seems that while many of these kids are in the database, a few aren’t. Harper and Little Man are not in the databases, so I’m unsure what we will do with them now. I’m exhausted and decided to stay the night with Spade. Between Harper and Little Man, they both haven’t left our sides, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave them either. Spade has a few bedrooms here, so we are staying in his with the kids. Ophelia got a “pack-n-play,” and we set it up for the baby. Harper wanted to stay with him, so we put them both in the pack-n-play to let them sleep together. It must be a comfort thing. I know they are not siblings; they look nothing alike, and she told me he is not her brother. Spade gave me one of his shirts to sleep in. As I climb into bed, he comes out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. Jesus fucking Christ. This man is built like a god. He walks over to the closet and gives me his back. I gasp, seeing the scars I caused. I place my hand over my mouth; his back is mutilated, and they look fresh. Does he keep reopening them? I climb out of bed. I don’t know what I’m doing, but before he can turn around, I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his wounds.?

“I’m so sorry, Spade. I’m so fucking sorry.” I continue to kiss his flesh. His body sags and I’m not sure what that means. He hasn’t touched me yet. I just keep kissing him, wishing somehow, I could take everything back. I know I can’t. Why is this so hard??

He turns in my embrace and cups my face. He bends down and kisses me softly, backing us up until my knees hit the bed. I fall onto the bed but sit up. I look up into his steel gray eyes, and he gets on his knees before me and smirks. He turns around between my legs and hands me a bottle of cream.?

“Rub this on the scars,” is all he says. I take the bottle, squeeze some on my hands, and rub them over his muddled skin.?

I’m so fucking sorry.

28

Locked In A Bird Cage

-Jade-

It’s been a few days since the shipment of kids arrived. I’ve been staying with Spade and the kids ever since. I took them home with me once, so I could grab clothes and what not. I would have had them stay at the house, but I don’t think it is safe right now. Spade’s warehouse is more than equipped to keep the few that are left. Bianca is the only one from Spade’s gang that is out of school already, so she stays with the kids while we attend class, and then we switch after school lets out. I would just tell my father to fuck off, but we are trying to keep this as low profile as possible. I did make the call to Flynn, and he’s looking into it. Spade gained some respect from Flynn, being that Harper is of Irish descent and has become attached to him. But not just that, Spade saved all these kids by intercepting the shipment. If there’s one thing Flynn won’t stand for, it’s child trafficking. The IRA might be one of the most powerful armies in the world, but they are not into trafficking, period. There are about four other kids that we cannot find parents for, and we have been discussing foster care. Bianca is standing her ground on not sending them there, seeing that she was once a foster kid herself. She also asked us not to ask any more questions about it, that it’s a trauma she doesn’t want to relive. I can absolutely understand that. I want what’s best for these kids; I think we all do. If I’m being honest, I’ve become attached to them. There’s Little man, who we still have no clue what his name is since he doesn’t talk much. I’m thinking he’s almost two years old. If not, he just turned two because he isn’t potty trained and only says a few words; and those few words are not his name. And then there’s Harper. She is such a sweet girl, but I can tell she’s going to be a handful when she gets older; there is definitely trauma there. I just can’t pinpoint what it is. I know when the time comes, her leaving is going to break Spade, me, and probably the little girl herself. She’s become very dependent on us, but Spade more so in such a short amount of time. We are lucky she will hang out with B until one of us gets back. The first day we left, it was a shit show. She threw herself to the ground, banging her head on the floor, screaming, and locked herself in the storage closet in the dark until we got back. It broke my heart to see this poor little soul wrapped up in a ball, on the floor, in a dark room. It makes me wonder if this is what those pieces of shit did to her. It hurts my heart to even think about it. Spade was beside himself and took the doors off all the closets and made sure there were lights in all the rooms, even if they were battery operated. That night, she slept in between us with Spade’s big, tattooed hand holding her little ivory one. We found out she speaks very little English, it’s mostly broken, but she’s trying. I’ve also been trying to teach Spade Gaelic, just the basics right now. He’s so eager to learn, but a part of me is thinking, “what’s the point?”. She’s just going to leave us, and it will all have been for nothing. We haven’t spoken about us and where this leaves our relationship, whatever that is, but every night after he showers, he hands me that bottle of cream, never letting me forget what I did. Let’s not get it twisted, I’ve reminded him often enough that my dead mother’s pussy is tighter than mine. Every single time I say it, his face pales and his eyes cast down. Two can play this game, Playboy.

Back on campus, the snow has been falling for hours now and I’m waiting patiently for the school to cancel the day so we can leave and get back to the kids and relieve B. I’m currently in the library, studying for a calculus exam, waiting for Slim to get here. The doors burst open, and Spade walks in with Jameson. They find me instantly and waltz over. Jameson grabs my hand, kissing it and Spade caresses my scarred cheek as he sits down opposite me.?

“Little Creature, how is your day?” Jameson kisses my hand again.?

“It’s fine, have I mentioned that I fucking hate calculus?” I sigh.?

“If you needed help, all you had to do was walk those sexy legs to my room and knock,” Jameson replies. Spade snorts, making Jameson narrow his eyes at him.?

“Snort all you want. You may have gotten to lay your head next to her these last couple of nights, but I’m the one who gets her screams.” He smiles at Spade sinisterly. I cover my face, not in the mood for their bullshit. The library doors open again and Dario, Slim, and fucking Kayla stroll in. I look over at Spade and Jamie.?

“What the fuck is going on?” I whisper. Jamie shrugs his shoulders and Spade doesn’t say a word. Probably still stewing about what Jamie said.?

“Well? You texted us and said you had something important to tell us,” Kayla says stepping up to my table. No one answers, they are all looking at one another.?

“Earth to Jade.” Kayla snaps her fingers in my face. I look up at her with narrowed eyes.?

“I didn’t fucking text anyone, anything. I’ve been sitting here studying for stupid calculus.” I retort.?

“Bullshit. We all got the same fucking text,” she says, putting a hand on her hip.

“I just fucking said, I didn’t text anyone.” I say through gritted teeth. My anger is rising. Jameson squeezes my shoulder. Little does he know that it fuels me, not settles me down, especially when he taps on me. It’s like he’s giving me a running head start into the pits of darkness. I slowly rise out of my seat and the lights go out. What the fuck??

“This isn’t funny,” I say. The library barely has windows, let alone natural light. It’s so fucking dark in here. Someone grabs me from behind.?

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