Page 41 of Late Nights

Cannon: I’ve never heard of that.

Me: It’s symbolic of embracing our flaws and imperfections.

Me: I don’t know what you’ve been through or what has made you think you are broken, but I believe the pieces can be put back together, making them stronger and more beautiful than before.

Cannon: I understand what you’re saying, and in theory it sounds great, but I’m not sure where to even start. It’s easier to push away the unwanted thoughts, to push people away, to pretend I’m fine. If I keep myself busy and keep myself surrounded by people, it’s easy to stay distracted.

He’d been in survival mode for so long, it was understandable that he didn’t know how to get out, to do anything different.

Me: That makes sense. Maybe you could start small. Just talking to someone can help. It doesn’t have to be me. It could be West, or a therapist, someone you feel like you can trust.

Cannon: Yeah. I’ll think about it.

Cannon: Thanks for talking with me tonight. It helped with my withdrawals. ;)

Me: Anytime.

I set my phone back on the nightstand, plugging the charger back in.

Resting back against my pillow, I thought about Cannon even more than I had been before. My heart ached for him. It ached for how he viewed himself, for how hopeless he felt, for how alone he thought he was, and for how he didn’t feel like anyone would ever want him.

His devastatingly good looks aside, any girl would be interested in him. He was successful, funny, kind, and thoughtful. Although you couldn’t really put his looks aside because he was gorgeous.

He had some hurdles he would need to overcome, but that didn’t make him of less worth. I just hoped he would let someone help him, someone who would help him realize he could set down the burden he thought he had to carry.

I wasn’t naive enough to think or hope I could be that somebody, but that didn’t stop my mind from wanting it to be a possibility. My feelings for him were deepening despite my efforts to keep them reigned in, and conversations like tonight didn’t have me wanting to run away from him like he feared. Instead they had me wanting to run head-first into his world. He wanted to keep things playful in the shallow end, assuming that if we swam out to the deep end, I might drown, but I wasn’t afraid to swim. With him I was ready to dive deeper.

13

Demi

My alarm jarred me awake, prying my eyes open against their will. I hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep since I’d spent most of the night either talking to Cannon or thinking about him.

But Gavin would be here in an hour to pick us up and take us to the ski resort, so I needed to get up and get ready if I didn’t want to look like a disheveled mess.

I quickly braided my hair in two braids, swiped on some mascara, and put on my black one-piece ski suit before heading downstairs for breakfast.

Everyone was already in the kitchen except for Cannon.

“Good morning,” Halle said with a smile. “I made a protein smoothie to go with our muffins. Do you want some?”

Although she was no longer a personal trainer and was now running her own dance studio, she hadn’t lost any of her healthy ways.

“Sure, that sounds great.” I sat on one of the barstools at the oversized kitchen island.

West slid me a poppyseed muffin, knowing it was my favorite. “How did you sleep?”

“Thank you,” I said before responding, “Pretty well.”

I wanted to ask if Cannon had come down already, but I didn’t want to raise any suspicion about our changing relationship. I’d never voiced out loud any concern about his whereabouts before, so I felt like I shouldn’t now.

“Gavin should be here in twenty minutes,” West announced.

I hid my smile as I took a sip of my smoothie. Halle had definitely helped him relax some, but he was still ever the planner.

I finished my breakfast and then went back upstairs to brush my teeth.

Passing Cannon’s closed door, it took a conscious effort to not knock on his door, to not check to make sure he was okay. I forced myself into my ensuite bathroom, brushing my teeth and wondering how things were going to be between Cannon and me after our late-night texting convo. Was I supposed to acknowledge what we’d talked about? Or were we going to act like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, that he hadn’t told me things I was positive he hadn’t even told West?

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