Page 65 of Late Nights

She looked back at me. “And how does she feel about you?”

I cleared my throat and fidgeted on my seat. “She, uh, she likes me too.”

She rolled her eyes, giving me an exasperated look. “Why can men be so daft sometimes?” It was more of a rhetorical question, so I didn’t answer. Especially since I had a feeling that if I told her why Demi and I weren’t together, she’d think it was dumb. As an outsider, it probably seemed like the easiest decision ever. We liked each other, we got along well, she made me feel things I’d never felt before. It sounded like a no-brainer, but no one understood where I was coming from. They couldn’t because they’d never stepped foot in my shoes.

“Some unwanted advice,” she said, already halfway off the stool. “If a woman like that is going to give you a chance, you take it.”

She sauntered off, and I turned back to look at Demi. Again. She was laughing at something Robby had said, and I realized it had been way too long since I’d heard her laugh.

I was man enough to admit that the woman in the pink dress had a good point. I should have been jumping for joy that a woman like Demi was interested in me. But every time I even tried to entertain the idea of us being together, my fear of hurting her sliced through me.

Demi began making her way down to me, and I didn’t even try to hide that I had been staring at her. Add that to the many mixed signals I was giving her.

“Hey, do you want another drink?” she asked.

I looked down at my drink, remembering that I’d finished it. So that’s why she was coming down here. To do her job.

I rubbed my forehead, working to hide my disappointment. “Uh, yeah. That would be great. Thank you.”

She took my glass and filled it. “Are you okay?”

That was a loaded question. The simple answer was yes. The complicated answer was no. There wasn’t anything seriously wrong. My only problem was that I didn’t know how to be with the woman I wanted to be with. I didn’t know how to tell West and Victor that my flirty playboy days were over and that now I was thinking about taking a risk with Demi and that there was an extremely high chance I’d hurt her. I could hardly think about Victor’s face filling with dread and the talking-to he would give me about how I wasn’t even close to being good enough for his daughter.

But despite all that I said, “Yeah, I’m good.” I forced a smile, but I could see on her face that she wasn’t buying it.

“Well, you know where to find me if you need anything,” she said with a soft smile and then went to help another customer.

Her shift was almost done, and then we could head home. Not that we’d hang out. We hadn’t done that since we’d gotten back from Lake Tahoe. But at least it was better than sitting here watching and wishing I could be a different guy, the kind who could be with her and not completely mess things up.

I’d been right. Once we were home, she showered and got ready for bed, and I didn’t see her for the rest of the night. I only played Call of Duty for thirty minutes before deciding to go to bed myself.

Now I laid in bed, finding sleep out of reach. My mind kept going back to the beautiful blonde in the next room.

She found it hard to talk to me after our kiss, but maybe…she would find it easier to text me.

Yeah, yeah, I was a desperate man, but I missed her.

I picked up my phone from the nightstand and sent her a text, not sure if she’d still be awake.

Me: Hey.

Yeah, so it wasn’t my finest line, but I hadn’t thought past just texting her.

A few seconds later, the ellipses bubble appeared, excitement rushing through me that she was awake and texting me back.

Demi: Hi.

Okay, so we weren’t off to a strong start, but it was a start, nonetheless.

Me: How were classes today?

I didn’t really know what to text her about, I just knew I wanted to text her. But before Lake Tahoe and the kiss, she would come home and tell me about what she’d learned in school that day. I missed the normalcy of it, talking about mundane things that happened in our day-to-day lives. I’d quickly gotten used to it. Now that it was gone, I realized how much I missed it.

Demi: They were great. It’s so much more interesting than my classes were at Stanford. I get excited to go to school every morning, even on the days when I’ve had to stay up late because of work.

Demi: Or because I stayed up late playing video games with a certain guy. ;)

I smiled, her words giving me a little hope that maybe we’d get back to that sooner rather than later. She was teasing me, and that was a good sign.

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