Page 56 of Late Nights

I lightly smacked his chest. “I blame my lapse of judgment on being sixteen.”

He grabbed my hand where I’d hit him and held it against his chest. “I’ll let you get away with that lame excuse.”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, even though he couldn’t see me.

“I remember seeing you for the first time when you came home from your two-year gap.” His voice took on a serious tone. “You left a girl and came back a woman.”

Did that mean that he’d possibly been harboring some kind of crush on me for the last two years? My mind raced to comprehend what he was saying.

His thumb moved gently back and forth against my palm as he spoke. “All of a sudden, our three-year age difference didn’t feel like much of a difference at all.”

“I had no idea you saw me as anything other than West’s little sister,” I said quietly. “Not until these last three weeks. And even then I didn’t know what you thought of me.”

“I definitely have some thoughts about you.” The teasing lilt to his voice had me smiling, a heat spreading throughout my body. “But it doesn’t matter because I wouldn’t be good for you.”

My brows pushed together. What did he mean he wouldn’t be good for me? How could he possibly know that if we’d never tried, never even gone down that road?

“Says who?” I asked, holding my breath.

“Says anyone who wants to protect you.” He said it as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

I lifted myself up enough to look at him. “Protect me from what? You?” I asked incredulously. “Just because you feel like your past doesn’t make you good enough, doesn’t mean you aren’t.”

“It’s not just that, Demi.” He ran a hand over his face. “I’m not capable of being in a relationship. I don’t know how to be with someone like that. And I’m not going to put you—or us or your family—at risk.”

What was he talking about? I must have been looking at him like he was a crazy person. I wanted to shake him and tell him that being romantically involved with someone wasn’t rocket science.

I opened my mouth to tell him just that, but then closed it. If he didn’t think trying to make something work between us was worth the risk, I wasn’t going to talk him into it. Having to talk someone into being with you wasn’t exactly the stuff of romantic dreams.

Instead of responding, I only nodded my head. He didn’t want to take our relationship any farther, and who was I to question that? I didn’t know if he needed more time or possibly a different girl, but I wouldn’t push him into anything.

I sat up, untangling myself from him. “It’s late. We should probably get to bed.”

His eyes roamed my face as if he was trying to read through my words, and I hoped I had schooled my features enough so he couldn’t figure it out.

“Yeah.” He swallowed. “Okay.”

We made our way inside, putting the blankets back before heading upstairs. We’d both remained silent since coming inside, but as we reached our rooms, I placed my hand on his arm to stop him from going into his bedroom.

“Thank you for sharing your past with me,” I said gently. “I know that wasn’t easy for you. I’m sorry for everything you went through. No one should have to deal with such harsh realities, especially at such a young age. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m never far away.” I let my hand drop, giving him a small smile.

Before I could turn and head into my room, he wrapped me up in a hug. In my shock it took me a second to catch up with what was happening. I hurried to hug him back and felt him breathe me in.

“Thanks, Demi.” He held me for a few more seconds before pulling back, lightly placing a kiss on the top of my head before letting me go, taking a step back.

We stared at one another, neither one of us moving to leave. The hallway seemed smaller now in the darkness, heavy with what felt like forbidden desire. We both felt more for each other than we were letting on, that we were fully willing to admit. But my hands were tied. He didn’t want to take things farther, no matter how much we both wanted something different.

My eyes dipped down to his mouth. The lips that had just kissed the top of my head in the most caring and sweet way. This man had me so wrapped around his finger that if he wanted to kiss me right now, I’d totally let him, despite knowing he didn’t think he was capable of giving me anything more than that.

But heaven help me, I wanted to kiss him. Who cared about rationale or what would happen once the kiss was over? I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and pull his mouth down to mine, our lips crashing together in what I was sure would be the sweetest ecstasy.

I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed and his hands clenched at his sides. My thoughts must have been written all over my face.

Knowing that I had probably made a fool out of myself, I took a step back, casting my gaze to the floor. “Good night.”

I practically bolted through my bedroom doorway, barely hearing him say good night before shutting the door.

18

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