Page 30 of Finding Love

I come to a stop, and he does the same. It’s time to drop the bullshit. “I need to know something. I need you to tell me the truth.”

He looks me up and down and, I guess, takes me seriously since he finally drops the snarky, sarcastic expression he was wearing. “What is it?” he asks, and if I didn’t know better, I would think he sounds suspicious.

“Was I undercover here? I’m serious,” I mutter when he snorts. “I mean it. How did I end up here?”

His head snaps back, and he folds his arms before looking me up and down. “You mean Luca didn’t already tell you?” he asks with a smirk. “I thought honesty was the most important thing in a relationship.”

Fuck this. “Let me know when you stop having fun…” I snap, “… so we can have an actual adult conversation.”

His brows lift before he whistles softly. “Listen to you. I’m glad to see you so strong and sure of yourself.”

“I’m glad you’re glad.” He’s insufferable. Imagine acting all snarky and full of himself when he has been accepting money from the Santoros to keep them safe. I guess he needs to feel superior, or else he might realize what a slimy piece of shit he is.

“You want to know if this all started as an undercover investigation?” he asks, looking serious again.

“That’s what I asked,” I grit out.

I can’t believe this guy. He keeps me waiting, holding my breath, like he’s having fun knowing I’m hanging on his every word. Finally, though, he shakes his head. “No. As far as I know, that’s not what this was about.”

I don’t know whether to be glad or devastated. This was my choice. I chose to be with Luca, not because of work but because I wanted him.

“You have to let it go,” he murmurs after a few silent moments.

I don’t bother hiding my irritation when I look up at him. He is wearing a knowing smirk I would love to wipe off his face. “Let what go?”

“Everything you thought you knew about yourself. You’ve got to let go of it, or else you’ll never be able to move forward.” He places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes surprisingly hard. “We all make our choices, kid. And really, it’s not up to anybody else to understand them.”

“Is that your way of defending yourself?” I ponder, tipping my head to the side. “You tell yourself nobody needs to understand why you decided to go on the take?”

His hand falls away like I hoped it would. “Just like nobody needs to understand why you decided to switch teams and devote your life to somebody whose family you were chomping at the bit to destroy.” He sounds tired all of a sudden and maybe a little sad. I guess I’d be sad if I were him too.

“Craig!” The shout is followed by a sharp whistle that makes us both turn. Dante is standing on the back terrace and waves an arm over his head once he has our attention. “Get over here, now!”

I never thought I’d be so happy to see Dante. If it wasn’t for his timely interruption, I might have no choice but to at least kick Craig in the shins for being such an unfathomable prick. I guess he needs to feel like he’s done the right thing, and we’re the same somehow. We never will be. If I’m here for love, that’s a hell of a lot better than betraying people who are supposed to be my brothers and sisters on the force for a little bit of money.

Maybe I’m the one trying to defend myself.

“I’ve got my orders.” His lips are set in a firm, grim line when he looks my way again. “Take care of yourself, all right? I’ll be back around to check on you.”

I want to tell him he really doesn’t have to go to the trouble, but he’s already walking away. I can’t say I’m sorry to see him go.

The little shiver that runs through me has nothing to do with the cold temperature. There’s something off about him. I can’t put my finger on it, and I could be imagining it. I don’t think so, though. He was too intense. Hanging on my every word. Why? I don’t get the feeling we were particularly close, even if we were partners. Maybe he was only trying to be polite but is too socially awkward to have it come off the right way. That’s not a crime.

Luca meets me halfway to his house and wraps an arm around my shoulders as we fall in step together. For the first time since I set eyes on Craig, I feel relaxed. “How did it go?” he asks.

“Fine, I guess.” I know I sound sullen, but I can’t help it. What did I expect? For Craig to unlock everything I can’t remember?

“You guess?” There’s a growl under his words, and for once, I like the sound of it. “Do I have to kick his ass? Say the word.”

I can’t help but giggle. “No, you don’t have to kick anybody’s ass.”

“Because trust me when I tell you, I wouldn’t mind.”

I can tell he’s trying to cheer me up, and affection swells in my chest in response. If only I could shake the weird feeling I have. Is there something I’m missing? Maybe. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something, only I don’t know what. All I can do is hope it’s nothing critical, or else I could be in trouble.

“I don’t like him,” I decide.

“Like I told you before, you had mixed feelings toward him. He lied to you and undermined you.” He snickers as we reach the front door. “Even if it was for my family’s sake, I hate him for it.”

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