Page 29 of Dirty Ginger

He nodded. “Yeah. And each day I got better. I go to therapy. Not as much now, only when I need to work through something. But back then, I talked through the accident and losing my mom and grandfather. The loss of not following through with the rodeo. Then we worked through my dad’s depression, and we found a way to deal with him by distancing myself emotionally but still being there for him.” He watched her expression closely, and she had her emotions very much in check. “Does that scare you to know that I was that broken?”

“Scare me?” she asked, glancing down at Larry’s head, as if mulling it over the idea. She finally met his gaze again and gave a soft smile. “No, Beckett, that doesn’t scare me. I’m really proud of you for doing what was good for you, and I’m so glad you pulled yourself out of that dark time.”

God, her heart warmed the hell out of him. He let silence come between them as he found Autumn now walking calmly next to Danika, with her head down, her gait slow. Horses fed off the humans they encountered, and he wondered if speaking of his weakness had helped calm her insecurities too. He hoped that was true. When he glanced back at Amelia, he found her staring right at him.

Her voice cracked. “Did you think I thought you were broken?”

“I wasn’t sure,” he said with a shrug. “But I wouldn’t have blamed you if you did.”

“I never thought you were broken or weak,” she said immediately. “I just didn’t know how to reach you after the accident. You were so…”

“Distant. Cold. Pushing you away,” he finished.

She nodded, her eyes welling before she glanced away and breathed deep. She stayed quiet for a long while, the horses’ legs rustling the tall grass they walked through before she broke the silence. “I wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t pushed me away.”

He gave a knowing smile. “Luka wouldn’t have existed in your world.”

Softness reached her gaze. “I suppose that’s probably true.”

He sensed all the things hanging between them. All the promises he could make now and never break. “But Luka did exist,” he added, unable to hide that particular truth, because if he learned one thing from therapy, it was he couldn’t hide from the truth. It drowned a person to hide away, just like it was drowning his father.

“You’re right, he did,” she said with a sigh.

Though Beckett saw something unexpected in her expression. Not sadness. Not anger. But resolve, and nameless things he couldn’t identify.

Obviously done with the heavy talk this evening, she finally let out a long breath and then sent a smile that tripped his heart. “Tonight, we’re having a big family dinner, would you like to come?”

Beckett smiled, a deep hole in his chest mending a little. He was getting this right with her, and it made the years of facing his pain worth it. “I’d love to. Nothing beats dinner around the Carters’ table.”

She returned the smile and then glanced out at the Colorado beauty ahead of her. Until she suddenly gasped, “Shit!”

Autumn spooked. Beckett quickly settled her and then turned to Amelia. “What’s wrong?”

She slowly looked at him, giving a wide grin. “Those beer samples, the ones I’ve been struggling with?”

“Yeah?”

Her eyes danced. “I think you’ve just given me the answer I’ve been looking for.” She spun Larry, clicked her tongue, and took off cantering toward the farm.

Autumn began prancing, and Beckett chuckled, shaking his head. He did what he felt like he’d been doing since the day he met her outside of their high school. He chased after her.

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