Instead I just stand there.
I keep my focus on Mac.
I listen to the priest speak.
The entire thing is just so damn sad.
The guy who is running Mac’s father’s company now - Mike - he’s bawling. He’s blubbering and shaking and the woman he’s with is rubbing his back and handing him tissues.
That’s what a real woman does for her man.
The same as a real man would stand next to his woman no matter what.
I take my eyes off the scene for a second and look around and sure enough, Mila is looking right at me.
Our eyes lock.
Granted, it’s only for a split second before she looks away, but still…
I take a step and the priest then makes an announcement that anyone who would like to place a flower on the casket can do so now.
It’s also a chance to see Mac again. Pay our final respects.
Not that any of us really knew much about Mac’s father.
But again, we’re here for Mac.
A decent sized line forms and I keep my hands at my sides and just look straight ahead.
My feet shuffle slowly when I walk.
I’m the first of the hockey players to get to Mac.
I take a white rose and gently place it on the casket.
Then I grab Mac and pull him in for a hug.
“Love you, man,” I whisper.
Mac nods.
I look at Violet.
She nods too.
As I walk and turn to my left, I see Mila again.
She’s just a few feet from me now, in line.
There’s a moment when I think she’s going to talk to me. She doesn’t.
I’m sure she’s thinking the same about me.
I don’t say a word to her.
My eyes go down to the ground and I keep walking.
There isn’t much making sense right now. Everywhere I go and everywhere I turn… it’s just one thing after another.