Page 5 of Broken

I could have easily stayed over, crashing with George like I have before. But I couldn’t be there when she woke up, seeing her in that kind of a state took me for a spin. I wanted to beat Knox within an inch of his life. To hold her until she realizes she's going about this all wrong.

This morning though, she’s got her full Badass Kitty Kat momentum going. Her platform knee high black leather boots with metal buckles. A black pleated skirt with ripped black stockings attempting and failing to actually cover her thighs. Her hair is pulled up into two space buns with cat ears. She’s always rocking fat black winged eyeliner with her black lipstick and lip ring. She got her lip pierced for her eighteenth birthday, even though her mother nearly exploded when she walked through the door. My favorite part of her clothes though are the shirts that she wears. Sometimes it's something as simple as a rock band, shredded to fit her perfectly. But the ones she wears with acronyms are my fucking favorite. I don’t know if she makes them herself or what, but I enjoy trying to figure out what they say.

Today, she’s rocking a shirt that says.

IYWFMGIL

Which blows my mind. I can’t wait to figure out what it means. It’ll drive me crazy until I figure it out. I have pages in a notebook where I write down what I think it is, and when I’ve settled on an answer, I ask. I’ve guessed them all right so far.

However, asking her requires talking to her, and I find it easier to make her life harder than actually talking to her like a normal human would.

I pull a notebook out of my bag real fast, using the hood of my car to set my bag down while I scribble down the acronym.

IYWFMGIL

This girl is an impossible drug. I can’t seem to stay away and yet I can never get close enough to actually enjoy the positive parts.

Although, I’m not exactly sure what drugs feel like either. I’ve never drank a drop of alcohol or done a single drug. Yes, I’m boring, I’m aware. I have good grades, I’m smart as fuck and I have plans for my life. If I want to go to Yale in the fall, which I already know that I am, then I need to keep my nose clean. Which means no fun. I always assumed I’d be able to enjoy some college experiences once I get there, but until I’m there, nope.

Tucking my notebook into my bag, I rush as the second bell rings for school to actually start. When I enter the school, I hear Kat and George talking. “Thanks for coming to get me last night and covering with the parents.” She says, nudging him in the shoulder.

“I didn’t, Kat. I told you that I had to study for finals.”

“Then who came to get me?”

“You don’t remember?”

“No, the last thing I can seem to remember is pink socks and white slides.” She shrugs at her brother, like being drugged and having a tool like Knox forcing himself on her is nothing. But, if she doesn’t remember, then maybe she should take that as a sign in itself. She’s taken this all way too far.

Then it hits me and my eyes go wide. If that’s all she can remember, then she was fucked up worse than I thought when I got her. That wiped out everything after me watching her fall, which was adorable as fuck. She’s so clumsy.

“If you don’t remember, then I’m not telling you. Maybe you should stop fucking partying and actually focus on what you’re going to do with your pathetic life.” George stomps off away from his sister. They’re twins, but ever since she got into trouble, George has been so angry at her.

He says he’s not, but before he would have never said something like that to her. I watch her face fall as she just nods and walks off. I rush up next to her, “Don’t worry about him, he’s just stressed about the finals.”

“I’m aware.” She snaps, dragging her feet as she watches her boots. “You better catch up, he might need your shoulder to cry on.”

The jab is sharp, deflecting her sadness into anger towards me stings a little. I turn to walk backwards so I can see her face when I say this, “Maybe if you weren’t worried about when the next party was or where you could get your next high, you’d remember last night.” I shrug, opening my arm up as my palms face upwards. “Then again, if you were anything like the girl you used to be, you would have asked your brother if he was okay.”

With that I leave her, turning and jogging to catch up with George. When I catch him, I knock him on his shoulder, “Sup dick.”

“Fuck off,West.”

“Hey, I ruined my night so you could keep studying. Maybe if you treated her better, she wouldn’t be acting out so badly. You and your whole fucking family is twisted, George. She’s a human, and humans fuck up. Remember when I covered for you about-”

“Shut up, you swore you’d never bring it up again.”

“Then stop treating her like she’s less than the dirt on the bottom of your shoes.”

“If she’d stop fucking up, then maybe I would.”

“You ever think that maybe she’s doing all of this as a cry for help. Or to get all of you to actually listen to her.” We turn to go down the senior hall, where our first class is. “After all, if you’d pay attention, she's screaming for someone to love her.” When did it become my job to fix the twins? They used to be able to talk to each other without saying a word. They lived in their own world, and I was lucky enough to be a part of it.

I don’t stick around to hear his excuses, turning into my first class. Math. Taking my seat, first row, three back, I drop into the chair and pull my notebook out. When I find the page with the new letters on it, I stare at them.

IYWFMGIL

What the hell is she trying to say today…. If you would. If you want.

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