Page 50 of Not That Into You

I scoff. “Maybe I just prefer sitting face-to-face.”

“Don’t worry, Monica.” He pats my hand. “I’ll protect you from Gary.”

“Gary?”

“Gary the Goose.”

“How do you know...?” I shake my head while holding up a hand. “You know what? Never mind. I’m fine where I am.”

He shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

Looking down at the sleeve of his polo shirt, Cameron affects an air of nonchalance while brushing off a speck of nonexistent dirt. “I’m just relieved you were able to identify ole Gary as a goose.”

My lips form a straight line. “Cameron.”

“I mean, you might have thought he was a puffin.”

“A puffin? In the Hamptons?”

“Well, now that there are armadillos wandering around, why not puffins?”

I huff out a breath. “Cameron.”

He looks at me wide-eyed and innocent. “Yes, Monica?”

“You said you were going to drop it.”

He rubs his chin with his forefinger and thumb and looks off as if deep in thought. “I did say that, didn’t I.” He grins. “But it’s just too good to leave alone.”

I sigh. I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m not sure why I thought the animal on the road was an armadillo. I’m not even sure I’ve said “armadillo” out loud before in my life. But it was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw the creature lying on the road right before Cameron ran over it.

He pulled over, and we rushed out of the Jeep to determine the damage. Thankfully, it quickly became apparent the poor animal had died long before Cameron ran over it.

It was equally apparent the animal was not an armadillo.

“It’s an opossum,” Cameron said. “The fur is a dead giveaway.”

I thwacked him on the arm for the macabre pun but hadn’t been able to stop from joining in his laughter, both of us relieved he didn’t cause its death.

And to the surprise of exactly nobody, Cameron still finds the whole episode humorous.

I sniff. “As I said before, I was simply caught off guard, shocked that you were unable to avoid a dead animal in the middle of the road. It’s like you were aiming for it.”

He snorts. “Please. Its guts were everywhere. It was hard to avoid.”

I shudder. “And on that appetizing note, here comes our food.”

Right on cue, Diane walks over, arms laden with plates. She places the food on the table between us, then hands out utensils. “Enjoy.”

Cameron smiles. “Thanks, Diane. You’re the best.”

She practically twinkles at him before walking away. The woman is old enough to be his mother, and she’s still susceptible to his charm.

I pick up a lobster roll and take a big bite. A chunk of meat falls out and plops onto my plate, leaving a trail of mayonnaise on my chin. Cameron chuckles, and I don’t even care.

“This is so good,” I say around my mouthful of food.

I take another bite, unconcerned I’m stuffing my face and not exhibiting proper table manners. When I glance at Cameron, he’s doing exactly the same thing. By the time I’m done with the lobster roll, my hands and mouth are coated in mayonnaise. I look around for a napkin just as Cameron holds one out.

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