Page 40 of Strike A Chord

“The hell you will. Sit.” The demand in my words left no room for argument and once he did, I continued. “Bailing isn’t the way to fix this. You and me, we’re stronger than that. Mom is stronger than that. We want to help you get through this and that doesn’t require separate houses or separate beds.” When he still wouldn’t look at me, I knelt in front of him and moved his hands so I could see his face. “What part of I love you, that I’m in love with you are you struggling with? Do I need to say it more? Shout it from the roof tops? What? I. Love. You. I am here to help you but there is only so much I can do in this case. You need a professional to help you through your past trauma.”

Much to my surprise, he agreed. “You’re right. But I don’t know where to begin to look. The only doctors I’ve ever been to were in times of emergencies.” No primary care, no pediatric care. Every time he shared more with me the desire to hunt down that man he called a father and have it out with him deepened. “Do you have any ideas?”

“I do but you may not like it. I would ask Stoli.” When he began to protest, I held up my hand. “Vulnerable. I get it, that’s how you feel, but he will either have a contact for you or know of someone who does that will keep this completely confidential. They are all about anonymity and that is what you need. Plus, exposing that side of yourself to him may strengthen the bond you’re building. But that is very personal and a decision only you can make.”

Like a million others I’d already tossed his way.

Chapter Seventeen

Josh

“You ready to work on some lyrics?” Stoli bounded down the steps ahead of me toward his studio.

“Yeah. We’ve got a few fully finished including the music but I wrote a new one I’d like to work on with you, if that’s okay?” We took a seat behind the soundboard area, and I handed him the lyric sheet to “Lone Wolf.” Reagan’s nickname hit me deeply and out came the words. Stoli read it as I sat, impatiently fiddling with shit beside him.

“I like it. It’s got a metal-a-billy sound to it.”

“Metal-a-billy?”

“Yeah, like a rock-a-billy twang but with a side of screaming. Lyrics sung with heart and the chorus screamed like a metal god.”

I threw my head back and laughed. This was what was needed to break the tension, though I’m sure that was only on my part. Reagan’s suggestion weighed heavy on my mind and while I wanted to talk to Stoli about it, I had no idea how to bring it up. But as he began to read my heartfelt lyrics aloud, it came to me.

Lone Wolf

Loner, loser, that’s all I’ve ever been

Bastard, misfit, delusional sinner

Take your pick, throw your worst

I guarantee my walls won’t thin

Resigned to be alone forever

I traveled the earth a lonely man

What do you do when you’re impossible to love?

When all you want lies beneath a heart hidden deep

Chorus:

A lone wolf howls his empty nights away

The moon, his only friend lights the stage

Alone with his guitar, he plays until his fingers bleed

Does anyone hear? Does anyone care?

As the lone wolf howls, his soul cries with need

Cut so deep there’s nothing left to save

The lone wolf howls

A fork in the road appeared

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