Page 79 of Whisper

“Better remember to bring home a gallon,” I replied, following his little detour with ease.

“He wants to come out to our friends.”

A ripple of surprise shot through me. “What?”

“Yeah. For years, he hasn’t wanted anyone to know he’s gay. Or about his disabilities. He wants to be unproblematic AF.” Kruger glanced at me, a little humor sparking in his eyes. “Between us, bro? He’s like a math book. Filled with problems.”

My lips twitched.

“But I love him,” Kruger deadpanned. Just dropped the L-word right there, confident AF. “He’s my brother. My family. My wife’s favorite.”

I didn’t bother to point out that he and Jess weren’t married. We were bonding.

“Matthew Prism is a whole package, Arsen. And I’m part of it. I won’t ever go away. I’ll be watching you so hard you’re going to have a wedgie. Get comfortable with it because it’s permanent. If you can’t handle that, then you better walk right now.”

“Good thing I like math.”

Kruger swallowed. “You can’t just like math. You have to love math. You have to commit to the numbers because they are infinite.”

Matthew is like numbers. Infinite.

“I feel kinda bad I thought you were a moron,” I told him.

He made a rude sound. “I’m asking you—no, I’m telling you. If you aren’t serious about Prism, if you aren’t all in—I’m talking endgame—then you gotta go. I know it’s not fair for me to come in here like this, but I don’t give a shit about your comfort. I only care about his. I know it’s only been a few days, but he’s already looking at you. He’s already thinking about rearranging his life, the one he built to protect himself. So if all you’re thinking about is some good times or a casual fling, this ain’t the place. If you hurt him…” He blew out a breath and then hit me with a cold stare. “If you hurt my brother, then I’m gonna hurt you.”

I didn’t hear his threat even though I knew without a doubt it was real. All I heard was that Prism was thinking about rearranging his life. For me. That he wanted to come out to his friends. That whatever he told Kruger about me was enough to send him “out for milk” and to my studio door.

If I hadn’t already fallen all at once, I would have again. Hell, maybe I did. Maybe this was my life now. Falling over and over for a man who spent most of his time locked in his comfort zone but was suddenly willing to struggle through discomfort to make room for me.

I would rather cut off my own arm than hurt him. The reply swirled around in my head, mixing with the overwhelming feelings assaulting me just because Kruger said Matthew wanted me. I didn’t say it out loud, though, because it sounded contrived and meaningless even if it was wholeheartedly true.

Kruger was watching me, waiting for a reply he could judge against his standards. Standards that were much higher than I expected. Good on him.

I cleared my throat. “A few days isn’t very long,” I said honestly, deciding to give him the transparency he’d given me. “But with him, time seems irrelevant. I’m not going to make some grand declaration to you because those words are for him. But I can tell you there is nothing casual in how I feel about Matthew. If he’s thinking about rearranging his life for me, then I’ll fit myself into any shape he creates.”

I know I told him we didn’t have to fit to belong, but having things fit seemed to be important to him. And if us “fitting” together meant that much, I would absolutely saw myself up so he could arrange the pieces.

“You sure you’re ready for that?” he asked, watching me closely.

“Ready to put his comfort above mine?” I mused. “You think I would put up with your mouth if I wasn’t?”

“Please.” He scoffed. “I’m delightful.”

“The only delightful thing about you is when you leave the room.”

“Bro. Good one.”

I smiled. “So what about you?”

“Me?”

“You gonna accept that you aren’t the only one in Matthew’s life now?”

“I’m not his only,” he muttered.

I caught his eye. “You know what I mean.” And I knew jealousy when I saw it.

“I got room for more friends,” he replied. “As long as you treat P good.”

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