Page 50 of Bellona

Bellona bit her lip before caving into the biggest thought currently chewing her brain away. "Do you think we can change our natures? The gods, I mean. I'm a goddess of war. I don't know how to be anything else or if I want to be."

Circe reached out and laid a hand on Bellona's arm. "Tell me what's wrong, and maybe I can help?"

Bellona drank her cocktail and told Circe about the past few days, about the women in cages, and all Set and Rafael had said about her being more than just a war goddess.

Circe waited until she was finished without interrupting her. She looked up at the fading stars and let out a sigh. "We are so old and come from a time when women had no rights at all, so I understand why the idea of choice has left you confused. I'm going to say something, and I want you to take it on board. Are you listening?"

"Yes?" Bellona said with a frown.

Circe turned her head to look her dead in the eyes. "You can be whatever the fuck you want, Bellona. You're a fucking goddess. Jupiter may have forced you to work for the pantheon, shoving a sword in your hand and into a role that he understood, but he's fucking dead, and you are not. You came into being by the call of women who needed someone to fight for them when no one else would, and then a fucking man used you for Rome's conquest games. If you want to take up the mantle to be a champion for women again, do it. Fight for them. You don't have to pick up a sword again if you don't want to. Women's lives are still a battlefield. That hasn't changed. They still need you, and if you are still hearing their cries and screams after all this time, maybe it's because you weren't listening to who you are actually meant to be."

Bellona stared at the sorceress, wide-eyed. "I… I never thought that was why I still heard them. Rafael is the only thing that has ever quietened them. I thought they were a curse."

"Maybe they are prayers," Circe said, looking back out at the ocean. "Gods were born from humans' needs. What need do they really have for war? None, but they still do it. We know who suffers the worst for it—women and the innocent. Listen to the voices instead of blocking them out, and maybe you will know what you need to do."

"Circe, has anyone ever told you that you are very wise?" Bellona asked. She was still processing, but she knew in her gut that the sorceress had hit the heart of the matter.

Circe's laugh had a magic of its own. "I spent a long time alone on that island. It gave me the ability to listen when someone is talking and hopefully give good advice." She gestured with her head towards the house. "Go and see your Rafael and send Charon out. I need him to take me home to bed."

Bellona got up and moved to hug Circe. "Thank you. If I can ever repay you, please tell me."

"Make sure you find all those people that Rita trafficked, and that will be thanks enough," Circe replied, giving her back a pat. "Go to your man, and you will feel better."

Bellona hurried inside and almost crashed into Charon and Hermes. "Circe wants to go home. She said I could see Rafael."

"Well, don't let me stop you," Charon replied and shot her a wink.

Hermes pointed to the nearest door. "He's in there. No waking him up."

"I won't. I won't."

Inside the room, Rafael was lying on a bed and had a cover of golden light shielding and healing him. Circe and Selene had cleaned him up, so there was no sign of blood, and he looked like he was only sleeping. A dark red scar was all that remained of the wound that had almost robbed her of him for good.

Bellona sat down on the chair that had been placed beside him and took his hand. She had promised herself that she wouldn't cry again, so she pretended not to notice the tears that slipped down her cheeks. She kissed his hand and rested her cheek against it. She could feel the flicker of his pulse, and that, more than anything else, reminded her that he was alive.

Hermes came in and sat on the other chair beside her. "I like your new guy, Bellona."

"You met him?" she asked, sitting up and wiping her cheeks.

"I kept him from moving on to any afterlife when the girls were working on him. We chatted," Hermes explained. "He really loves you, you know?"

"The poor guy," she replied, making Hermes laugh.

"You're not so bad when you're not angry. Rafael will keep you steady from now on. That's probably a good thing for everyone."

Bellona stared at her beloved, still sleeping deeply. "If he ever wakes up."

"It might take a day or two, but he will."

"I've been thinking of taking up Dionysus on his offer to use his beach property in Turkey. If Rafael can be moved tomorrow, will you take us there?" Bellona asked.

Hermes's smile widened. "Don't want him to wake up here where we are going to ambush him, huh? That's smart because we will. You've never dated a human, and we want to know what all the fuss is about."

"I'm going to need a few days to have him to myself, and then I'll bring him back. I just… I only just got him and almost lost him," Bellona said and swallowed the sudden lump in her throat.

"I get it. Don't worry." Hermes pulled out his phone. "Hey, want to see something that will cheer you up?"

"As long as it's not a dick pic because I can't take any more shocks today."

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