Page 43 of Buck

Then there was the big one. She focused primarily on getting things done, which made it hard for her to slow down and stop performing, never leaving time for herself. She did have a little panic attack this morning when she realized how much time she’d lost yesterday hanging out with Buck. Did she equate who she was with what she did?

Then there were the emotions that were overwhelming her, especially now that she was wondering exactly who she was here, wondering if she would be loved for herself, not what she accomplished. She thought maybe in her father’s eyes, but not in Buck’s. He cared about her for who she was with him, and she had to admit, it wasn’t any act on her part.

Emotions flooded her, making her realize that she was an intrinsically emotional person, but she had suppressed them unconsciously to be who she thought her dad wanted her to be.

Reconnecting with her emotions through Buck was making her realize how much she had disconnected. She was beginning to believe that she made herself into the image and person her father needed and wanted her to be…no, molded her to be. She was terrified of failure, afraid it would define her, make her less worthy and all of that had robbed her of experiencing more peace and understanding more of who she really was.

How could she participate in a relationship with Buck when she didn’t know who she was, worked so hard, didn't leave time to explore it, and let fear be a barrier to discovery? How could she give Buck everything when she had no idea what everything was?

Had she been nothing but an empty shell, shapeshifting to get the approval of her father and family?

She felt shaky by the time Diego parked the cart and started through the jungle. “Why are we in the middle of nowhere, Diego?”

He didn’t answer, just kept moving. She followed after him, trembling with her revelations, realizing that she had so much soul-searching to do. She was falling for Buck in a hard way, and the thought of not seeing him…it was torture.

She came out of the trees and saw a warehouse in a small clearing. She looked around. This was completely odd. It wasn’t near the fields, couldn’t be part of storing coffee, it was just too far out. What the hell was Diego up to?

She went to the door and pushed it open. The place was filled with tools and workbenches, metal, and mechanical stuff all over the area. “What is this place? Why are we here?” Mari felt as if there was a lead weight suddenly sitting on her shoulders.

Diego turned to her and opened his mouth. Suddenly the door burst open and armed men came through shouting loudly for them to get down on the ground, their assault rifles trained on them. She immediately knelt down with her hands in the air, closing her eyes and taking deep calming breaths.

Her eyes popped open when her wrists were ruthlessly drawn behind her back and flex-cuffed. She was jerked to her feet, and she turned when a man took her arm.

Shock coursed through her. It was Buck. He didn’t say anything, and she was speechless as he quickly, and efficiently patted her down. A horrible feeling worked through her, and she finally found her voice. “What is going on?” she demanded.

“Your brother was acting suspiciously, and evasively. Maybe he should explain?” Buck said, a grim set to his profile, his jaw hard. He might be doing his job, but he wasn’t happy about it.

She turned her attention to her brother and said, “What are they talking about, Diego?”

“It’s a prototype, Mari,” he said, like that explained everything.

“What?”

He turned to look at the man behind him. It was D-Day. The rest of the team surrounded them looking dead serious and very scary. Diego nudged with his chin toward a cloth-draped object. “It’s there.”

D-Day walked over and pulled off the cloth. Underneath was a piece of machinery gleaming under the lights.

“A drum roaster?”

“It’s a new concept for more even airflow. I’ve been working on it for a long time.”

Buck let out a heavy sigh. “Talk about a clusterfuck.”

13

Buck could only think once again, What. A. Monumental. Cluster. Fuck! Not just for the case. By busting in here, they had shown their hand to Diego and Mari. She wasn’t stupid. She would put all the pieces together, and she would realize that he’d been working this mission through his ties with her.

They searched the warehouse from top to bottom and found absolutely no evidence of cocaine. They even brought in the DEA dogs to sniff. He was subtly separated from Mari, and he had to wonder why. Did his LT or Kat not trust him to be impartial, and could he be impartial given the fact that he was half in love with her?

Diego and Mari had already been taken to the local precinct under noncustodial circumstances. They weren’t under arrest, but there were questions that still needed to be asked and answered. With the Drug Control Police of Costa Rica involved in the investigations, if there was evidence found regarding Diego’s collusion with the cartel, or gangs, or involvement with Barrantes’s murder, he would be incarcerated in their local jail. The implications for the future of La Buena Tierra would be dire if that was the case.

He never even entertained the thought that Mari was involved in any way. Or, for that fact, Diego. They were both dedicated to the family where every single one of the family members, except Sofia, was employed. Neither Mari nor Diego would have knowingly put their livelihood or the legacy of their family in jeopardy.

Diego was anxious and nervous, but it wasn’t the I’m-a-criminal kind of nervous. It was more personal. He was afraid of someone, something, but it wasn’t the cartel/gang fear, that hopeless, mind-numbing terror of being murdered. Buck was so damn sure of it. Which meant there was some other force at work here. Something hidden and underhanded.

“The place is clean,” one of the DEA agents said to Russ. “Dogs found nothing.” He walked away with his dog on a leash. Russ looked disappointed, and Buck understood that, but he was relieved for both Mari and her brother. At this point, Diego’s suspicious behavior had to be chalked up to something else.

“You all head back to the plantation,” Russ said. “I’ll question the?—”

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