Page 62 of Heart of Gold

“For you, of course! What’s up?”

I pause, trying to find the words. Instead, I burst into tears.

When you try not to cry for ten years, sometimes the tears come out of nowhere.

“You need me there,” Shiloh says. “I’ll be right over.”

The line goes dead before I can object.

When Shiloh knocks on my porch door fifteen minutes later, my face is streaked with tears and mascara.

Shiloh says nothing but takes me in for a hug. “What’s going on, Em? Sit.”

I sit down, and Shiloh scootches a chair directly in front of me. Her tiny hands take mine.

“I realized something,” I say, through tears and hiccups. “I think Max’s stepdad interfered. Back when I was first pregnant.”

“Okay.” Shiloh’s face doesn’t change expression. “Tell me more.”

“Max left for a dental mission immediately after we met. We talked about trying a long-distance relationship when he got back because he was going to dental school in San Francisco. While he was gone, I found out I was pregnant. His phone wasn’t taking messages, so I called his stepdad’s dental practice. He showed up and gave me this story that Max had a pattern of doing this to other women. His stepdad offered me money.”

“Okay.” Shiloh’s hands gripped me tighter.

“He wanted me to ‘take care of it.’ I knew I wasn’t going to do that, but I still took the money.” My head drops to my hands. A warm, comforting hand rests on my back.

“You were right to take his money,” Shiloh says. “Gosh, that man is evil. Evil.”

I sniffle and wipe my nose with my hand. “What do I do? Max thinks that I ghosted him and kept Olive from him. If he knew his stepdad, the man he idolized, did this, I…”

“You don’t have to do anything now,” Shiloh says. She breathes in and out. “He needs to know, but not now.”

“You think so? We told Olive tonight who he is.”

“Does Max treat Olive differently because of what he thinks happened, do you think?”

Shaking my head, I feel a swell of tears build behind my eyes. “The way he was with her, he’s so sweet. I missed out on that because I was stupid and naïve…”

“Hey, hey.” Her thin arm circles my shoulders and pulls me in. Shiloh always smells like cupcakes. “This is not your fault. You were how old? Twenty?”

“Yes.”

“You were so young. A man you were told was honorable and good lied to you. It’s not your fault for trusting him.” Shiloh pauses and pulls me tighter. “Folks take advantage of trusting people. Trusting, young people.”

“Thank you.” I take Shiloh into a proper hug, her petite body fitting into mine as I sob quietly against her shoulder.

“Give it a few more days, and then tell him. Enjoy being together as a family.” Shiloh is quiet as she continues to hug me, rubbing my back. “I’m jealous. What I wouldn’t give to have my dad come back like Max did. Not sure he’s as good of a guy as Max is, but a girl can dream. Even if it’s not the best idea.”

I pull away and wipe my face. “I didn’t expect Max to ever show up again.”

“We never do. But we secretly watch the door, just in case today a miracle happens.”

Tears cover the back of my hand when I wipe them away. I did my best to stop wishing. However, Max returning has brought closure I didn’t know I needed. It’s filling a missing piece in my life. If we never end up together, if he never forgives me for taking his dad’s money and letting him go so easily, this is enough.

In my bones I know he won’t abandon Olive now that he knows about her.

When I think about Max reading to her, with Olive tucked into his arm, I can’t help but cry. “I feel so bad. My daughter missed out. Because of me.”

Shiloh kisses my forehead. “Not because of you. Max is here now. He wants to be here. There’s not much more you can ask for. You don’t have a time machine.”

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