Page 60 of Birds of a Feather

‘Besides, you’re far from boring,’ he continued. ‘I find you fascinating and funny.’

I looked at him incredulously, having never been described by anyone as fascinating or funny, let alone both, and certainly not by a man. But no one had ever made me feel at ease like Nick did either. I felt comfortable being myself.

I became aware of the silence around me. I looked at the TV; the game was still playing, but there was no volume.

‘What happened to the TV?’ I asked.

‘I muted it,’ he said casually. ‘You were talking,’

‘So, you’re saying you find me funny and fascinating, and you actually listen to what I have to say,’ I guffawed. ‘Where have you been all my life?’

Nick grinned at me, and my breath caught as I took in how attractive he was.

The moment was interrupted by the abrupt chime of his doorbell.

‘Ahh, dinner’s here,’ he announced.

We sat and ate what he promised was the best pizza in the area.

‘So, I have to ask,’ I said, as I marvelled at him eating his pizza with a knife and fork (I was the only other person I knew who did that), ‘your fear of heights – does that extend to flying?’

After his friends had confirmed his keenness to visit Australia, I wanted to know if there were any barriers that might prevent it from happening.

‘Well,’ he started, rising to get another beer from the fridge, ‘in order to answer that, I need to clarify I am not afraid of heights, per se.’

‘But today at the London Eye, you were terrified.’

He handed me a drink. ‘I’m not afraid of heights, I’m afraid that I will get stuck twenty metres in the air and need to be rescued.’

He took a long sip of his beer as if steeling himself.

‘A couple of years ago, I was planning to propose to my girlfriend of six years. I wanted the proposal to be perfect, so I bought the ring, consulted her parents and organised for a private hot air balloon ride. I packed a picnic brunch, with champagne and all her favourite foods, and drove us just out of London to where the hot air balloons depart from. I’d even arranged for the pilot to push play on our favourite song and film the whole thing. I waited for what I thought was the perfect moment and then dropped to one knee, which wasn’t as easy as it sounds in a wicker basket, suspended from a balloon powered by a flame. They’re quite wobbly.’

‘Wow, that sounds very …’ I trailed off. I knew the appropriate phrase for a scenario of this ilk was ‘romantic’, but grand gestures of affection had never appealed to me; they seemed showy and unnecessarily ostentatious. (Not that I had a lot of experience being on the receiving end of them.) Nevertheless, I couldn’t dismiss the thought that being the subject of Nick’s attention must have been nice.

‘I know,’ he said, ‘it was a bit over the top. True to his word, the pilot managed to capture the entire proposal, where I professed my love to her and told her I wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. He also captured the bit where she told me she’d fallen out of love with me, and wanted to travel to America to work as a summer camp counsellor.’

‘Oh dear,’ I said.

‘Yep. And he was so committed to filming my humiliation that he failed to realise we were veering off course and into a tree.’

I tried to stifle a laugh, but failed.

‘We dangled up in that tree for two hours while we waited to be rescued. Every thirty minutes or so another branch would break under our weight, bringing us closer to injury and increasing my panic. While I’ve got over her, I suppose I’ve never got over the trauma of the event itself.’

He shuddered as if the memory still haunted him.

‘It must have been terrifying,’ I offered, in my best attempt at empathy, ‘and very awkward.’

‘It was both of those things,’ he continued. ‘But it doesn’t end there. The video uploaded to a shared album and I found out later she had sent it to some of her friends, who forwarded it on to some of their friends. Before too long, it went viral.’

‘Oh God,’ I offered feebly in solidarity.

‘I still get people tagging me in social media posts where she says no to my proposal and I can be heard squealing as we hit the tree. I think someone even put some of the words to music and made a song out of it. So, I made a promise to myself that I would never again risk being suspended in the air and needing to be rescued, and especially not when I’m just trying to impress a girl. But today I made an exception.’

‘So you did only go on it for me?’ I asked, shamelessly hoping he’d expand on his feelings for me.

He smiled coyly. I felt compelled to hug him or to tell him the girl was a fool and she didn’t know what she was missing, or possibly both. But I too had built up security measures to ensure I didn’t get hurt by other people.

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