Page 94 of Moving Forward

I reach behind me for the bar of soap and thoroughly wash her, being extra careful in case she might be sore. Her cheeks heat up when she lets out an involuntary moan as I accidentally slip a finger into her. I chuckle and remove it, planting a long, slow, heated kiss on her lips. She kisses me back fervently, clearly not as thoroughly ravished as I would like.

After she’s clean, I dry us both with a towel then pull her into my arms.

“What are you doing?” she squeals.

“Carrying you.”

“Obviously. Why?”

I lick my lips as I lay her back down on my bed. “Because I want to carry you. You should be enjoying this. Going on about how I’m a big, strong man or shit like that.”

“Now why would I do that when it’s so obvious already?” she asks with a sly smile.

I flop down onto the bed beside her and pull her against me. She tells me about her day, then starts talking about the wedding. She’s animated, her enthusiasm practically bouncing off her. She’s been working on her maid of honor speech the last few nights, writing and rewriting. I figure by the time she finally gets around to giving it, I’ll have heard it about a million different times or at least a million different variations. I could probably recite it for her, I know it so well. Not that I’m complaining or anything. Her voice is music to my ears. I would die happy it if was the last thing I heard.

She flips over onto her stomach and leans closer to me, her hair wild and wet, sticking to the sides of her face. “Cain?” she asks, chewing on her lip.

“Hmm?” I mumble, my fingers finding their favorite place in her hair.

“We didn’t use a condom. Should we talk about that?”

Fuck. No wonder it felt so damn good. “Shit. How did I miss that?”

“Caught up in the moment, I guess,” she says.

“I’m not a teenage boy. I know better.” My brain starts to spin out of control. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What the hell is wrong with me? Worthless . . .

“Hey, it’s okay,” she whispers urgently, moving on top of me. “I’m on birth control.”

I swallow, grounding myself by focusing on her. “I haven’t had sex in years and I’ve been tested since the last time, so I know I’m clean.”

“We’ll be okay, then,” she assures me. “It’s okay.”

“This is a conversation we should’ve had before. I can’t believe I didn’t realize.”

“Well now we’ve had the conversation and we know.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” I say. I let out a sigh, trying to calm myself down. Her voice repeats in my mind, It’s okay. “Did you and Ethan want kids?”

She nods. “We had differing opinions on how many. I only wanted one or two, but he wanted a whole busload. Obviously, I was going to get the final say on that one.”

“Do you still want them—now that he’s gone?”

“Yes,” she admits. “More than anything. What about you? Do you want kids?”

My breath gets caught in my lungs. What a loaded question. “Yeah, I do.”

“You’d be a great dad,” she tells me, smiling as if she can envision it. She traces shapes into my chest. “I know it’s too soon to say this, but maybe someday we’ll have a family together.” Her words are soft, as if she doesn’t want to spook me.

“I’ve already thought about it,” I confess.

“Would you want that with me?”

“That and more.”

She shifts so that she can kiss the center of my chest. All the blood rushes back down to my cock, ready for round two. The lack of clothing makes everything pretty damn noticeable.

“I love you,” she tells me, her eyes smiling and her voice truthful, not even the slightest bit apprehensive.

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