Page 50 of Moving Forward

He curses. “Ethan?” I nod, tears brimming in my eyes. Isn’t it possible for me to go a day without crying on his shoulder? “You know that’s not true. You just weren’t thinking about him, and that’s okay. You’re always going to carry him with you.”

I bite my lip, sucking in a harsh breath. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“You’re not going to.” His face is set determinedly as he chases away my tears with his thumb. “Every day as long as we’re in each other’s lives, I’m going to ask you something about him. Small or big. Important or stupid. I’m not here to take you from him, but I am here to make you mine. And you are going to be mine, Max, just like I’m going to be yours. Been that way since the day on the dock. But you were also his, and the only reason you’re here is because of him. I thank my lucky stars, even on those days we weren’t speaking, for that. I’ve even thanked Ethan. So, I owe it to him to help you hold onto him, just as much as I owe it to him to make sure you’re loved.”

“Cain . . .” I say, speechless. “Thank you.”

He kisses my hair. Pulling back, he says, “We’ll start easy. What was his favorite color?”

“Green,” I answer. “Since he was a kid playing Power Rangers.”

“Strangely enough, I remember that. I think he actually broke Grams’s windshield once. She never forgave him for it either.” A smile spreads across my lips. I know he didn’t get along well with Ethan because of Erin, but he’s trying. For me. It makes my heart feel complete.

You’re not falling for him. You already have.

“What about you?” he asks.

“White,” I answer. “It’s crisp and bright, but also comes in so many variations.”

“I knew it. You always wear white. Except for today.”

“You’ve noticed?”

“Haven’t you realized I can barely tear my eyes off you? I’d be a dumbass not to notice.”

I blush. “What about you?”

“Can I take my eyes off myself? Oh, no. Not. At. All.” His grin widens and his teeth seem to sparkle. “It’s white.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“It is. Well, not always. Used to be blue. But then I met you and white became my favorite color. That first time I saw you I nearly chewed off my hand trying not to touch you.”

His face is serious, but I can’t bring myself to believe him.

He tilts his head and squints, his forehead scrunching, as though he’s trying to see something deeper. He lets out a low whistle and brings his hand up to clutch the back of his neck. “Damn, you don’t believe me. I’ll bet you never believed him either. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever, and will ever, see in my life.”

“You’re not buttering me up, right?”

“To do what?”

“To tell me I have a terrible personality or something.”

“Not in a million years. Everything about you is perfect to me. Your eyes, your personality, your appearance, those dresses, even how you smile in your sleep. I’ll be damned if I ever find something I don’t like about you.” He gives me a devilish grin. I’m totally getting used to his smiles: shocked, loving, amused. “Maybe I should add that to my daily to-do list.”

“Aren’t you afraid that’ll go straight to my ego?”

“There’s nothing egotistical about the truth, Peaches.”

“And how would you feel if I did the same?”

He laughs. “You’ve got me there.” The deep, rumbling sound reverberates throughout my entire body and sets my insides on fire. All I can do is stare in awe, thinking about how much he’s already changed and how much I’ve changed—from wanting to hide away to actually having fun with another person. I’ve finally found the happy place I lost. And that place is Cain. I can’t stay in Orchard Valley because it will never be my home without Ethan. But Cain . . . I’m beginning to think he could be home wherever I am.

His laughter cuts off and hunger heats his eyes. His tongue flicks out over his bottom lip. “The way you’re looking at me right now,” he says huskily, “is going to change things.”

“Let it.”

“Ellie and Danny will probably be gone for a while, nearly newlyweds and all, don’t you think?” he asks, massaging my neck lightly. He tilts his head, the fire burning in his eyes.

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