Page 16 of Moving Forward

CHAPTER SEVEN

MAX

“Shit, Max, I didn’t know she was going to react like that. I’ve never—that wasn’t Ellie back there,” Danny apologizes, handing me a mug of mint tea and sitting down on the couch beside me. I curl deeper into the plaid throw he gave me. “You know that, right? She’s just a little . . . out of it.”

I’m madder at Ellie than I’ve ever been in my entire life. She had a point to prove and my feelings didn’t matter. She was willing to hurt me just so she could lash out at Cain.

I’m disappointed in him too. I can’t find the words for what I’m feeling. I believed that maybe, just maybe, I could find the calmness that I’d yearned to find for so long. When he held me—god, it was perfect. It was the best I’ve felt since Ethan was alive, and not just because I wasn’t numb anymore. I felt safe in his arms. Like I could stay there forever and never have to worry about pain again. I never would’ve guessed those comfortable arms could break me.

I don’t even know him, but it’s like I’ve lost some huge part of me. I’ve been grasping so tightly to the idea of being whole again, maybe I didn’t pause to think things through. Though I never would’ve suspected what Ellie said he’d done.

Oh, Ethan.

I should have known there was a reason Ellie reacted the way she did when Ruth mentioned Cain, but I didn’t want to think about it. The fact he hides himself away should have been another clue that there’s something off about him.

“Do you want to know what happened? Between Ethan and Cain?” Danny asks.

I shake my head vehemently. Knowing won’t change anything. It doesn’t matter. I can never forgive him. I’d be betraying Ethan if I did. Just the thought of caring about Cain—and I do, even after only meeting him twice—sends a wave of indescribable guilt through me.

Danny sips his drink. I imagine this situation is a little too female for him—curled up under the blankets, drinking hot drinks, and talking out our feelings. Yeah, he looks absolutely thrilled. “Well, Cain isn’t exactly the most social of guys. I was surprised to see you guys together. Why were you with him?”

“You won’t say anything to Ellie?” I whisper against the rim of my mug. He nods. I distract myself by staring at the cloud of steam. “I haven’t felt whole since Ethan died. And Cain seemed like he understood that—like he’s not whole, either. And Ellie . . . she doesn’t get that I’m still mourning.”

“She doesn’t. She misses him just as much as we do, but I think she somehow managed to accept his death a lot easier than we did.” He takes a long drink and sets the mug on the coffee table. “I’m pissed at Ellie and I don’t condone what she did, but I think her main goal is to see you happy. It’s just that the last person she would expect you to find happiness with is Cain Hazelton.”

“I’m not looking for a relationship,” I mumble.

“I mean anything with Cain, friendship or whatever. He wasn’t a good guy when she knew him. I believe people change. Ethan changed after he met you, that’s for sure. I think if you told Ellie what you told me, about seeing that piece of yourself in Cain, then she might just let you be.”

“It doesn’t matter now, Danny. I can’t be around Cain if he hurt Ethan.”

“Maybe if you knew the circum—”

I hold up my hand. “Please, just don’t.”

He looks like he’s about to argue with me, but his cell phone starts ringing. He takes a look at the screen and rolls his eyes, holding it up so I can see the caller. He answers it on the fourth ring, right before it’s about to go to voicemail. “Hey, babe. Yeah . . . no . . . I know.” He takes another sip while he listens to her. “Yeah, you were crazy. Max deserves an apology, not me. . . . Of course we’re still getting married. . . . Alright. . . . I know, babe. . . . Okay. . . . See you soon.”

Danny hangs up and glances at me warily. “She’ll be here in a few minutes. She’s been standing outside the apartment crying, evidently. Cars were pulling over to help her out.”

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