Page 98 of Moving Forward

Tom flushes and turns on heels to walk away. Debbie points a manicured nail at Ellie, scolding her. “Ellen Miller, you just scarred your father for the rest of his life. I hope you realize the gravity of the nightmares he’ll be having, and not just because you talked about your best friend’s private bedroom matters. Now your father knows you know about sex.”

“Of course I know about sex, Mom. Do you think when I sit down with my smutty romance novels I’m reading about bunnies prancing in the fields?”

“No. But your poor father, as all fathers do, lives in a world of ignorance. A world where his baby girl doesn’t have sex or think about it. As far he’s concerned, Erin ate a watermelon seed.” She shakes her head and reaches into her bag again. “We’re done with that subject. Maxie, I got you something as a going-away gift. I want you to know Tom and I support you. I know it’s not much, but it is meaningful.”

She pulls out a small gold chain. “I’ve practiced this speech a lot, so bear with me.” She reaches for my hand, tears falling from her eyes again. Before I can protest, she slides my engagement ring off my finger and onto the chain. “You found love this summer. We’re all astounded by your resilience in the face of heartbreak. We want you to always keep Ethan close to your heart.” She pauses and places a hand on her chest, fighting to hold back a sob. “But we want you to move on. We want a new ring on that finger. We want you to find the happiness that you can no longer find with Ethan.”

The ring feels heavy around my neck as she closes the clasp. Not as heavy as it’s felt on my finger, though. Loving Cain is one of my proudest, happiest decisions. Loving him while wearing Ethan’s ring is not. It’s made me feel like I can’t give myself completely over to either of them—with the ring on my finger, I’m Ethan’s, and with Cain’s arms wrapped around me, I’m completely, unquestionably, forever his. I’ve wanted to take off that ring to show Cain I’m free to be with him, but I haven’t been able to. Because of the Millers. I don’t want them to think I’m letting them go or I’m forgetting Ethan. I don’t want to disgrace them in that way when they’ve shown me so much love.

Moving the ring makes me mourn the loss of that future—makes me miss Ethan. We spend our time intertwining our lives with other people as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. But sometimes those people don’t stick around, sometimes we lose them. Picking those people out of the careful cross stitch of our world is messy and painful and difficult. It’s life, raw and real.

But I’m weaving in Cain and he’s adding a new pattern to my world. Not a better pattern—but a pattern I need and a pattern I love and want.

I stare at my now-bare hand and pray he doesn’t leave me for long. That soon there’ll be a new ring on my finger. A new future to cherish.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

CAIN

“What do you say we sit close to the aisle? You’ll be able to see Max better. I’ll bet she looks stunning,” Grams asks.

“She always is.”

Grams picks a pew and sits down, leaving just enough room for me beside her. “Glad to hear your eyes are still working, boy. Pretty girls with pretty personalities deserve to be told they’re beautiful. Keep that in mind.” She gives my tie a small tug, grinning up at me with that smile of hers that makes me flinch. It always means something embarrassing is about to come out of her mouth. “You look pretty handsome yourself.”

“Thanks.” That’s not nearly as bad as I expected.

She opens her mouth again. Yeah, I got ahead of myself. Here it comes. “One day it’ll be you standing up there where Danny is, only you’ll be anxiously awaiting Max. The two of you on that altar will be striking, and not a single soul in the church will question your love for each other.” She laces her hand through mine and pulls it into her lap. “The future that the two of you have to look forward to . . . it makes everything that’s gone wrong worth it.”

Any reply I might have is lost in my throat. I have to turn my head away because I’m afraid if I look at her, she’ll know what’s going on in my head. She’ll see exactly what future I have in store for myself. I haven’t told her what Max agreed to—I know she’ll try to talk me out of it.

My eyes land on Max’s parents and grandpa. They’re sitting on the other side of the church, talking quietly among each other. Max mentioned that Ellie’s little performance at the hospital swayed her parents to the Cain hate train, but now that the drama’s been settled they’re back to liking me. Her grandpa, on the other hand, seems to hate me with as much vigor as before. Thank God it’s not more; he’s not the type of man you want as a mortal enemy. Ophelia notices me and gives me a bright smile and a wave. Her dad gives me a head tilt that I’m sure he thinks makes him look cool, but really it just looks like he’s trying way too hard. Her grandpa glares in my general direction and then goes back to ignoring my existence.

“They seem to like you just fine,” Grams points out. “That’s good. It’s never easy when the in-laws don’t like you.”

“Please stop with all this marriage talk,” I beg her. It makes me want to give up on this time-apart idea. “Max and I are moving at a pace we’re comfortable with. We don’t need you rushing us.”

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