Page 82 of Moving Forward

Danny scoots forward on the living room couch with a smirk on his face. “Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to come home.”

“Don’t make fun of her,” Erin says, slapping his knee. She turns her attention to me. “But sweetie, you are home just a little bit late. Or early, since it’s morning.”

I can feel my cheeks start to turn bright red. It’s obvious Cain and I did . . . things. It’s not like I can deny it. I’m sure it’s written all over my face. Plus, my hair is a tangled mess.

To make matters worse, Ellie joins us in the living room, dragging Conner behind her. He’s dressed in the tan tuxedo all the guys are wearing for the wedding and looks like he’s about to have a coronary. He stumbles to a halt beside Ellie and mouths frantically at Erin, Help me.

Erin only grins at him.

“The tux looks good on him, right? I think he . . . well, well, well. Look who finally decided to come home.” Her knowing look makes me even more self-conscious.

“That’s exactly what your better half said just a minute ago,” Erin laughs. “I swear, you two are so on the same page you’re the same person.”

Ellie gives her sister a look. “We can talk about mine and Danny’s perfection later! Max is home . . . after spending the night at Cain’s! Look at her, she’s even wearing last night’s clothes. You little floozy.”

As her excitement grows, Conner sneaks closer and closer to Erin. He gives me an apologetic look as he sits down on the arm of the couch. Yeah, I thought I could like Conner since he used to be good friends with Cain, but not anymore. He’s totally relieved that Ellie’s attention has been funneled my way. My pain means nothing to him.

“Leave her alone,” Erin chides.

“Okay,” Ellie huffs. “But I want the details later, got it?”

What Ellie doesn’t know is I stopped giving her the full details the night I gave my virginity to Ethan. Mostly because it’s ridiculously awkward to talk about your sex life with the sister of the person you’re having sex with.

She won’t be getting any full details now, either. I don’t want to have to explain to her why I made Ethan wait but don’t plan on making Cain wait. The difference between them is that with Ethan, I was never ready, but with Cain, I am. I’ve just been too afraid to face just how ready I am.

“I’m glad Cain’s found you,” Erin tells me with a broad, genuine smile. “You make him really happy. And I’m so thankful he’s mending his ties with me and Conner. He deserves to be surrounded by people who care about him.”

Ellie sighs and sits down on one of the smaller couches. She pats the spot next to her and I begrudgingly take it. Her attention is focused on her sister, so I’m safe. For now. “He was so horrible to you Erin . . .”

“Ellie, he’s not horrible. It did hurt when he started cheating on me, but that was more about him breaking my trust. It made me realize that while I loved him, it wasn’t the kind of love a future is built on,” Erin explains. “I stayed in his life so I could help him if he needed me.”

“By then we were also starting to spend time together,” Conner adds. “Best day of my life, the day you finally let me call us going out a date.”

“Did Cain know?” Ellie asks.

Erin laughs. “I don’t know how he couldn’t have. Neither of us is good at hiding our feelings.”

“Then he hurt Ethan and we cut him out of our lives,” Ellie says. For once, there’s no vehemence in her words.

“Not exactly. There was more to it than that.”

“Can you tell me what happened that day?” I blurt before I can stop myself. I start to backtrack, but she gives me that peaceful expression only Erin can conjure. I really wish I had grown up with Erin as a sister. With someone like her in your life, it’s hard to bottle things up. Maybe if I had reached out to her more after Ethan died, I’d be in a better place now.

Erin leans her head against Conner’s arm. “He was going through something—it isn’t my place to share—and I wanted to check on him. As soon as I got to his house, it was clear something was up—”

“He had a house?” I question.

“He did. He lived there for a few years before he moved to the boat.”

“He hasn’t mentioned it.”

“I doubt he wants to think about it,” Erin explains. This must be the part of his history he isn’t ready to tell me about. “The front door was open and the house was eerily quiet. Inside, it was like a tornado had gone through. There was broken furniture everywhere. I think I knew what I was walking into, I just didn’t want to believe it. It had always been that way, though. Throughout our relationship, there were a lot of signs he needed help. I was just too young to know how to find that for him.”

I reach for one of the pillows and hug it to my chest. “You did what you could.”

Erin smiles sadly. “I found him sitting on the floor, surrounded by his own blood, just staring blankly at the wall. He’d always gotten lost inside that head of his, but that was the first time . . . the first time that it became clear Cain couldn’t escape what was going on up there. He was trapped. And I tried everything to get him out. . . . I talked to him, I joked with him, I even slapped him. Eventually I gave up and cleaned him up, then moved on to putting his place back in order. I was in the middle of sweeping up some broken glass when he just snapped. God, he snapped.”

Conner clenches his teeth, his somber gaze latched on her stomach. “I should have been there for you.”

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