Page 68 of Moving Forward

“I hated that I lost my wingman,” he corrects. “Not her.”

“You did need a wingman.” It’s weird to be here with Conner, acting as if no time has passed. He’s always known I have shit wrong with me, just like I’ve always known he has his own set of problems with his parents. We never made a point of going inside each other’s minds and that’s what made our friendship work. It still does, evidently.

“Hey, I had game, dude,” he pouts. “Sometimes.”

“You’re the size of a fucking freight train. Nobody was going to come near you when you looked like a thirty-year-old at thirteen.”

He shakes his head emphatically.

“What? You did and you know it.”

“It’s not that. Erin can hear cussing too. She’s got sensitive ears for that stuff. She says we need to practice now so we don’t tarnish the baby.”

I lean my head back and look up at the sky. Max flickers in my mind. I wonder if she’d feel that way too. Something tells me she’d get a giggle out of our kid repeating a word he wasn’t supposed to hear. She probably wouldn’t care if he had a foul mouth, as long as he didn’t use it around her. She doesn’t seem to mind mine. Shit, why am I letting myself think about what can’t be? “How’s it been going with a baby on the way?”

“Surprisingly well. Just painted the nursery purple . . . it’s a girl, you know?”

“Really?”

He grimaces. “That’s the part that terrifies me more than anything. A girl. Remembering how we ran around all those years . . . I don’t know.”

“You mean me. I was the one running around.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t gonna come out and say it.”

“And the person I was running around on is your wife now.”

“Hey man, stop putting words in my mouth. For someone who doesn’t like socialization, you sure do know how to throw the social punches.”

My shoulders sag. “It’s the truth.”

“Okay, so you were with my wife and you treated her badly most of the time, and now I’m a little bit afraid my future daughter is gonna find a future teenage you.” He rolls his line in to cast it out again. “And then I think about Jessa . . .” he trails off.

I was always jealous of Conner and Jessa’s close relationship. I always wished for a sibling to share a bond with. Though he never came out and said it, I always got the feeling Jessa was born because their mother thought another baby was the solution to her marital problems. She saw Jessa as a means to trap her husband and stop him from leaving. It worked, but only for a few years. After their dad split, their mom became useless, so Conner raised Jessa. He was mom, dad, and brother to her. Neither of them seemed aggravated or inconvenienced by the situation. They embraced it. From what I’d always seen, they were the type of siblings who actually liked each other.

His expression eventually clears. “You should come to Danny’s bachelor party next week.”

I shift in my seat. Like that’s a good idea. Why don’t we go skin ourselves and bathe in lemon juice while we’re at it? “I don’t think that’d go over so well.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m inviting you. You should’ve been at mine anyway.”

“But it’s Danny’s party.”

He smirks. “We may be older, but he still knows I could kick his ass if I felt like it. Plus, he mentioned I should invite you.”

“Before . . .”

“Yeah, before. But I say the offer still holds.” I start to argue, but he holds up a hand to shut me up. “I get it. Max. Well, you went to see her tonight and even if you couldn’t follow through, I think before too long, you won’t be able to help yourself. That girl has a hold over you, and you’ll be back at her beck and call in no time and she’ll be the one telling you to go. You’re lucky I’m not telling you about the upcoming Fourth of July party you should come to for Max.”

My forehead wrinkles. “Not talking to you about that.”

“I don’t want to talk about it either. I’m just sayin’. You have a week.”

“I’m not going to go.”

“Whatever man. Keep kidding yourself. You’ve missed me, you’ve missed this.”

I scowl. “Jackass.”

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