Page 94 of One Billion Reasons

“That bad?”

I nod shortly and drain my whiskey. “That bad. In the moment, I was terrified.” I rub at the ache in my chest, knowing it won’t help. “Lane is everything I’ve wanted. She completes me. She made me go to the Montauk house with her. Instead of avoiding it. But the thought of taking the chance at more and losing her as a result… I couldn’t do it.”

“Sounds like you’ve already lost her,” Jonah says, and Jason shoots him a dirty look.

“Not helping,” Jason says.

“No. He’s right. It’s what Liam said, too.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I have no idea. She’s living in my spare apartment. She’s so close, but–” I trail off. I have no idea how to get Lane back. What I said to her was probably unforgivable. “I’m open to any and all suggestions. But nothing from Jonah because the boombox thing was fucking stupid.”

Jonah shrugs. “I’m not a love guru. Leave that to Jason.”

Jason is considering me, turning his whiskey glass in his hands. The amber liquid catches the light with every twist.

“You love her?”

I nod.

“But you’ve never admitted it?”

“Never.”

“Then the answer is easy. Tell her how you feel.” Jason smacks me on the shoulder with enough force to bruise. “Tell her how you feel, and don’t bring up the property, for fuck’s sake.”

Simple, easy. Bare my soul, hope she doesn’t kick me out of her apartment. I drain my glass and pour another.

* * *

An hour later, I’m in front of Lane’s door. It looks identical to mine. Well, if you don’t take the penthouse elevator, it does. And only I take that because I’m the only one with a key. I should give Lane a key. I’m fishing in my pocket for the elevator key when the door opens.

“Miles?” Her lovely face is confused, and my heart stutters before pounding into an unsteady rhythm. “What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?” God, she’s pretty. I drink in her pajamas and her hair in a messy topknot. Her eyes are wary, and I hate it. I hate that I put that fear there. My fingers twitch with the need to reach out and touch her, but I don’t.

“Talk.” She leans against the door frame. “Is this about the property? Do you need me to go to the closing?”

My mouth opens and closes like a fish. “We lost the property,” I say carefully. “Catherine knows about me paying you. I’m pretty sure she hates me even more for hurting you.” I can practically hear Jason screaming at me not to mention the property.

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

I shrug. “Yeah. I guess Mark is going to buy it now.”

Her sad expression is swimming before my face and suddenly this all seems like a really bad idea.

“I’m too drunk for this,” I mutter.

Her face shutters. “Okay, Miles. I’m going to go to bed.” She wraps her arms around her middle. She’s already shutting down, and I haven’t even started talking. But what should I say? My tongue feels thick.

I lean heavily against the door frame.

“I want you back, Lane.”

“No. You don’t want this. You need some time apart from me.” She shakes her head and takes a step back.

“Stop being difficult, Lane, please.” Alarm bells are blaring in my head. I’m fucking this up but I can’t find the words. Tell her you love her. Grovel. But what if she hates me? This is wrong. This is all wrong. “I shouldn’t have come here,” I mumble.

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