Page 91 of One Billion Reasons

“I’ll kill him.” She explodes off the couch. “I still have his keys. I can get something from the studio to poison him. The turpentine should do it.”

“Mal. Mal, sit down. It’s okay.” She slumps back on the couch, and I squeeze her foot. “You’re the best friend a girl could ask for, but I don’t need you to kill him. I just want to forget him.”

She sips her wine. “I have to be honest, I’m surprised. I thought he was all in. And I thought you’d be good together.”

“He’s not. He’s possessive. Protective. But not all in.”

She frowns. “I could have sworn he was in love with you.” The words make my chest pinch uncomfortably.

“Liam said the same thing.”

She smiles faintly. “Liam, like me, is an excellent judge of character.” Mal considers me. “Did you see him while you were out there?”

I nod. “Last night. I was hoping he would shed some light on things, but he just made it worse. Typical.”

Mallory’s eyes are assessing. “What did he say? He’s not a terrible judge of character.”

“He said he’s pretty sure Miles is in love with me and has been for ten years.”

“Knew it,” she crows.

I roll my eyes. “You’re so modest.” I sigh. “But no. You’re both wrong. I took a chance. It backfired miserably.”

“I’m proud of you.” Mal’s eyes are soft and sad.

“Thanks.” I give her a half smile. “I had to try. I know we could be good together. He just doesn’t see it that way. He thinks he’ll break my heart.”

“So, obsessed. But not in love?”

I shake my head. “He told me he’s broken up with all his girlfriends because they weren’t me. He’s had to leave parties because I was there with a man. It’s insane. But the worst part is that I had no idea.” I gulp my wine for courage. “It was right there, Mal. Right in front of my face. For years.” My hand clenches around my glass. “All I had to do was reach out.”

“Is that true?” She looks skeptical. “What changed, then?”

“He did, I guess. His dad’s death changed him. I think—” I swallow hard. “I think I was too harsh in the past. I rejected him, too. And I think that was the nail in the coffin.”

“You couldn’t have known.” Mal frowns. “You didn’t owe him anything.”

“I know. I know.” My shoulders slump. “Liam says he’s scared of feeling weak again. And I love him. I hate that I played a part in that.”

“Damn.” Mallory sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“He asked me to wait for him.”

“And what did you say to that?” Her brows go up.

“I told him no. What would I be waiting for? Him to decide he loves me?” The words make my chest ache. “I can’t, Mal.”

Mallory flops back onto the couch. “Your life is fucked. I’m going to need more wine.”

After another two glasses each, we are well and truly silly. Silly and melancholy, at least on my part.

We’re laying on the floor and admiring the ceiling patterns and the softness of the rug under us. Mallory has an arm draped dramatically over her eyes.

“It’s a tiny bit romantic, don’t you think?” she finally asks. “He’s been pining for you for a decade.”

My mouth pops open. “Romantic? Mallory. Hello? Has Damian broken your brain? It’s not romantic to tell someone you’d rather not have feelings for them.”

“I still think it’s romantic,” she says.

---