Page 77 of One Billion Reasons

“If he were, this wouldn’t be an issue.” I swallow past the lump in my throat. Loving someone and them not loving you back is awful. “Why does this always happen to me, Mal?” I whisper the words, and her face softens.

“I know, Lane. I know it feels like that. You’ve dated a lot of losers. You have a big heart. And let’s face it, a lot of men suck.” She pauses. “Can you talk to him?” Her words are careful.

“I don’t know,” I respond miserably. “I don’t think my pride can handle it. This was supposed to be a fake relationship, and I went and fell in love with him. And after he told me over and over again that we can’t be together.” I cringe internally. This is why I was supposed to swear off dating. I have terrible judgment. “Is there anything more embarrassing? And it’s not like he’s going anywhere. Avoiding him for two years has been difficult. Avoiding him for the rest of my life? I don’t think it’s possible. He’s Liam’s best friend. If Liam ever gets married, he’ll be the best man at his wedding.” A horrible thought strikes. “If he ever gets married, Liam will be the best man at his.” Oh, god. I don’t think I can watch Miles marry someone else.

“But what if he loves you too?”

You’re mine. “He might,” I say slowly. “He might, but I don’t know if he will admit it. He’s so scared of love.”

“What if you told him?”

My breath catches. What if I told him I love him? “I don’t know.” I bite my lip. “I’ve been trying so hard not to be the girl that falls first. I’ve been that girl in every relationship, and it’s never worked out.” I wince.

“Feel it out,” Mal says. “You have another day, right? I think you’re going to regret not saying something.”

I nod, and we make small talk for a few minutes before hanging up. I lie back on the bed and shut my eyes. Miles might love me. He certainly seems protective of me. But that’s how he’s always been. And now we’re speeding toward an end date. Just one more night after tonight. And once this fake relationship is over, I’ll go back to my failing business and my uncertain future, and he’ll go back to being the king of the world. My breathing is shallow and fast. I need more water. Water and a nap. And then I need to look hot as fuck later. Because look good, feel good, right? Right.

35

Miles

Mark’s eyes are on me as I trek back to the room and again when I make my way to the deck for cocktails. He’s up to something. I need to find out what it is, and fast. The need to get this deal done is an itch under my skin. I have Jonah emailing me more articles and failed deals, and Mark watching me like a hawk. I hate not having the upper hand. But I’m distracted by Lane. That’s putting it mildly.

She looks amazing, again, in a silver dress that I chose. The corset top makes her figure look fantastic. Men are staring, and I want to snap my teeth at them. Instead, I settle my hands on her bare shoulders before I lean down and put my lips to her ear.

“What are you wearing under there?”

Her body sways back into mine, and she tips her head up. I run a finger down the side of her throat, and she smiles. “Nothing. This dress doesn’t need underwear.”

“Fuck, Lane.” My whole body stands at attention.

Her smile grows, and I squeeze her shoulder in warning. My control is on a short leash tonight.

“Save it for later, you demon.”

She wriggles against me, and I barely muffle a curse. She’s playing with fire, but at least the men in the room have mostly stopped ogling her. Mostly. I give one particularly bold man a dark glance, and he looks away sheepishly. She’s mine. Asshole.

Catherine greets us, and she and Lane chat while I brood. Lane has no idea, of course. She’s just laughing and smiling as Catherine chats with her.

Amanda wanders over to our group, and I give her an absent-minded hug before I go back to sipping my whiskey and watching Lane.

They’re talking about Lane’s photography, and then Lane laughs and says, “Oh, yes, he let me take some photos of him today. Shirtless. So I’m sure they’ll sell.” All the women laugh, and Lane gives me a look that says sorry, I had to.

What would a boyfriend do? Because I want to scoop her up and take her back to my room, but those are the actions of a caveman. I have no idea how to be someone’s boyfriend. Another reason why Lane and I shouldn’t be together.

I slip an arm around her and say, “Careful, or nude pictures of me will be in every living room in Manhattan.”

“I, for one, would appreciate that,” Amanda interjects, and instead of being weird, it’s funny and endearing, and Lane laughs.

“That can be arranged,” Catherine says.

Amanda cocks her head, and Lane straightens.

“Oh, yeah, I’m doing some gallery work now. Selling fine art prints. Large format, mostly. Unfortunately, the ones of Miles surfing will be a limited run.”

“I might be interested in that. But probably just landscapes and the like. I don’t think Richard wants photos of my ex hanging in the hallway.” She grins. “Even if we were never really together.”

Amanda and Catherine wander away, and Lane turns. Her eyes are glinting with happiness as she puts her palms on my chest.

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