Page 64 of One Billion Reasons

“I bet you’re not doing much public transit with Miles as your boyfriend.” Joanne tilts her head to indicate where Miles is standing at a table with Mark and a few other men. He looks uncomfortable and impossibly handsome in his tux. My stomach does a little backflip.

“We’ve all seen the tabloids,” Emily interjects. “The fleet of Maybachs. The private jet.” She rolls her eyes.

“I’d take a private jet,” Joanne volunteers.

What would Miles’s rich girlfriend say? “It’s not so bad, I guess.” I shrug, like a fleet of cars and private planes is a regular occurrence. “Traffic is murder no matter who you are.”

“The great equalizer,” Catherine agrees with a smile. “You’ve known Miles for years, right? Why did you decide to rekindle things?”

My stomach bottoms out. Exactly the question I didn’t want, and one I’m not prepared for. Think, Laney. The best lies have a nugget of truth.

“I’ve always had a thing for him.” My cheeks are getting hot under the other women's scrutiny. “I mean, look at him.”

The women laugh and Catherine says, “I’m not blind. I get it.”

“But he was always forbidden,” I continue. “My brother’s best friend. And besides, in college, he was so annoying. We were friends, but he also irritated the shit out of me.”

“Okay, but hate-banging can be fun,” Emily interjects.

I grin. “Oh, I know.” Joanne snorts a laugh, and Emily bumps her with her shoulder.

Catherine smiles but watches my reactions. She’s kind, but she doesn’t trust me. Or maybe she doesn’t trust Miles. Hopefully, my vague answer will be enough.

When the tasting is over, I’ve managed to only drink one or two glasses in total. I look around for Miles. He’s not at the table. I frown and weave through the room. I want to talk to him about Catherine. But he’s nowhere to be found.

29

Lane

Miles isn’t anywhere in the event space or the lobby. He’s not answering his phone, either. I hesitate by the elevators. Is he up in the room? Did he have too much to drink and decide to go to bed? That seems unlikely. It’s not even that late. We haven’t had dinner yet, and I know he’ll want to keep socializing, since that’s the whole point of attending this wedding.

Maybe out by the ocean? It’s warm and breezy tonight. I head outside, past the restaurant, where a few guests are having dinner, and through the garden. The moon has just risen and hangs low over the ocean. Miles is there, leaning on the wall, looking out over the water. I make my way over by the light of the moon, but he doesn’t react until I’m right next to him. The night air smells like the rosemary they grow on the property, but the scent of his cologne still wraps around me, comforting and enticing all at once.

“Hey.” He turns to me, his eyes soft and hazy. His tie is undone and hanging around his neck. “I had to get out of there. Mark was being a real dick.”

“Sorry.” I make a face. “Everything okay? I mean, other than that?”

“Sure, yeah. As fine as it ever is, I suppose.”

I’m about to tell him about Catherine’s questions when he says, “I used to love the ocean.”

“Did you stop?”

His throat works, and he doesn’t answer for a moment. “I’m scared of it now. Not of swimming in it, but I’m scared of the feelings it can evoke. My dad made sure I learned to surf, you know.”

Oh, Miles. My chest aches, and I want to touch him, to comfort him. But I’m not sure he wants that.

“I didn’t know,” I say instead. “When did you learn?” I know Miles is an excellent surfer, better than Liam, who didn’t learn until college, when Miles taught him.

“When I was eight and we first bought the Montauk house. My dad grew up going to the beach with his family, and he wanted the same for me. He couldn’t surf himself, but he was determined that I would learn. We took lessons together. He was shit at it.” Miles’s mouth kicks up. “He always said surfers were one with the water. He wanted me to be a strong swimmer so that I wouldn’t drown.”

“I’d say he got his wish.” If I shut my eyes, I can picture Miles carving through the surf, strong and steady. “When was the last time you surfed?”

He closes his eyes briefly. “I haven’t gone in the ocean since he died.”

“But you love surfing.” This is awful. I had no idea Miles was this broken. And suddenly, I feel terrible. All those years he put Liam first, and he’s so alone.

I slip my hand into his. “Let’s swim.” It’s exactly the kind of crazy thing that old Miles would have proposed. A drunken night swim. Skinny-dipping. He used to love that kind of thing. What happened? I want to bring that man back, if only for a night. He deserves it. I can’t help but think of all the things he’s done for others, and how badly he needs someone to do something for him.

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