Page 61 of One Billion Reasons

She increases her pace, and my groin pulls taut as fire licks up my spine. And then she swirls her tongue just right and I’m coming. My eyes are wide open so I can watch her suck me down, even as my body convulses from pleasure.

When I’m limp and spent, she raises her head and smiles.

“You liked that?” I ask, smoothing a shaking hand over her hair and then cupping her jaw.

“Oh, yes.” She smiles again. “I love the dirty talk most of all.”

“Oh, yeah? It just kinda…comes out.” I tuck myself back into my briefs and sit next to her on the bed. My body is shaking, and my legs feel weak.

“I can tell. That’s why I like it. It’s so honest. It’s raw. You’re not faking it.”

My head jerks up. Her big brown eyes are too knowing. Can she tell? How much I want her? How much I would do for her? How I can’t stop thinking about her?

“No. I’m not faking it.” I shake my head and look away.

“Good. When we’re out there with everyone else, I know we have to pretend. But between us, I want things to be real. Okay?”

I swallow hard. “Okay, Lane. Sure.” The fact of the matter is that I’ve been faking hate for this woman for nearly a decade. And now it’s all coming apart at the seams. Fuck.

28

Lane

Miles Becker has no idea what’s coming for him. I slick on my lipstick with a newfound sense of purpose. He wants me. And I can make him lose control. I just need to find the right buttons.

As I’m pinning my short hair back, Mal calls. The camera is shaky and she’s looking away, so I get a view of her chin and up her nostrils.

“Lane. You need to see this place.”

“Are you okay?” I’m more worried about my friend than I am about Miles’s apartment. “I can’t believe they kicked us out. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to help.”

“Focus. Look at this.” She turns the camera around and when it focuses, I gape. She’s showing me a floor-to-ceiling view of Central Park. Totally unobstructed.

She turns the camera back around. Her eyes are wide. “The elevator opens into his apartment. In. To. It. And look at this.” The camera pans to a chef’s kitchen that would have made my mother cry with happiness. And then Mal does something that causes one of the dusty blue drawers to open. Bottles of wine are displayed, gleaming in the overhead lighting.

I get a view of her wide eyes, and I laugh.

“It’s all like this. I can’t believe he lives like this. I honestly might change the locks before he gets back.”

I giggle. “Well, I’m glad you’re over the trauma of being kicked out of our apartment.”

“Oh, no. I’m not over it. I am very much melting down. But I intend to drink some of this wine to make myself feel better. You don’t think he’ll mind, right?” Before I can respond, she grabs a bottle. “I don’t actually care if he minds.”

“Atta girl. I’m just glad we have somewhere to stay for a little.”

Mallory putters around the apartment while I finish my makeup. She shows me the bedrooms, which were clearly decorated by a professional, and the huge fireplace in the living room. The kitchen is obviously her favorite, though, with all the shiny appliances hidden behind wooden cabinets.

“Look at this.” She flips the camera, and I can make out some sort of shiny machine before she turns the camera back around. Her eyes are wide, and I grin while I blot my lipstick. “This is a one-touch espresso maker. You just press a button, and it grinds the beans and makes a perfect cappuccino. I think you should marry Miles and live in this penthouse. I just need a small bedroom. You won’t even notice me.”

I laugh awkwardly, and Mal’s gaze sharpens. “What’s that look?”

“Nothing. I just…you’re not weirded out by the thought of living in an apartment he owns?” Since that’s where we’ll be moving next week.

“I mean, yeah, it’s weird. But we don’t really have a choice.” She cocks her head. “How do you feel about it, Lane?”

Weird. I will always protect you. His words ring in my head. Like I might belong to him if he does this for me. More than I already do.

I’m silent for a minute. “I don’t know, Mal,” I whisper. “I think it might be a really bad idea.”

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