Page 5 of One Billion Reasons

“I guess he’s in love. He must have been waiting for her.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Mal says dryly. “He was a player in college. And now all he does is work. I know you don’t follow the news, but I’ve seen my fair share of articles about Miles. He’s all over the gossip pages, but never for socializing, only for business.”

I’ve avoided all mention of Miles Becker for years. Mal doesn’t know the whole story, though. I rarely bring him up.

“Was it weird, seeing him?”

“Weird doesn’t even begin to cover it.” I hunch over my mug. It wasn’t weird. It was awful.

She eyes me and sips her coffee. “When was the last time you talked?”

“Almost two years ago. Right before the accident. But for the year before that, things were tense.”

“Tense how?” She raises her brows.

“We had a bad fight about three years ago. We each said things we can’t take back. Miles isn’t the guy we went to college with. Not anymore.” What I don’t mention is all the years where Miles was practically family. All the years of holidays together and his quiet generosity. I miss those days, and I know Liam does too.

“You never told me about a fight.” She frowns. “What fight? I sorta assumed you just drifted apart.”

I sip my coffee. “It’s going to sound stupid, but he ruined a date I was on. He happened to be at the same bar. He joined us at the table and started making inappropriate comments. I don’t remember what he said, but he chased the guy off, and I just lost it.”

“Asshole,” Mal mutters.

“Yeah. And it wasn’t the first time either. He’s made a hobby out of criticizing me. Nothing about me has ever been good enough for him. I got sick of it. So I confronted him. It didn’t go well.”

The memory has played on a loop in my head so many times that it’s easy to bring it up again.

“What kind of man should I be with, Miles? A guy like you?” As soon as I’d uttered the words, I wished I could take them back. His expression had told me he’d rather eat dirt or walk into oncoming traffic than date me. I’d forced a laugh, even as my heart cracked a little. “You’re a player. And you like to take chances. You’d break my heart and then you’d stomp on it.”

He’d responded in a low, vicious voice. “You can do better.”

“Don’t tell me what I want. You might be my friend, but you don’t control me.”

“You don’t know what you want.”

“I know I don’t want you.” A lie. My feelings for Miles hadn’t been clear, but want had not been an issue.

“Well, good thing I wasn’t offering then.”

“Fuck you, Miles.”

“You wish, baby.”

Mal is watching me when I look back at her.

“He’s a hypocrite,” I say. “Like you said, he’s a player. Not to mention dangerous and totally ruthless. He dragged Liam into all manner of dumb shit for years. Not sure where he gets off criticizing my life choices.” I roll my eyes. “And then there was the accident. Liam could have died. As far as I can tell, Miles didn’t care.”

“He’s always been a golden boy,” Mal says.

“Totally. Always comes out on top, even if he caused the problem to begin with. Everything he touches turns out okay. For him at least.” Miles could never understand what Liam and I went through after our parents died. We’ve never had the luxury of a family to fall back on.

And now, there’s no Miles to make sure we stay out too late, no speeding tickets and cops conveniently looking the other way, no stolen wine and bonfires, no surfing trips, no broken bones. And I like it that way.

Mallory and I finish our coffee, and I put the drone away in the top of my closet. I should start uploading and editing the photos from the shoot, especially since Mallory is heading to her studio and I’ll have the whole day alone. Usually, I enjoy it. But sitting here alone, with photos of Miles and his beautiful fiancée? The air feels thin.

“Lane.”

I turn. Mallory is at my bedroom door in her painting clothes. Faded jeans and sneakers so covered in paint that their original color is unidentifiable.

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