Page 31 of One Billion Reasons

Even if I find the right guy one day, my dad won’t be there to give me away. My mom won’t be there to help me try dresses on. At least I’ll have Liam. And Louise and Grace. They’ve always been there for me, and I love them for it. But my heart still pinches as I walk past the happy groups to get ready.

I’ve always wanted love for myself, even though I don’t trust myself to recognize it anymore. Every time I shoot a beautiful wedding, every time things don’t work out with yet another guy, the ache grows. What would it be like to have that person to depend on? To bring you up when you’re down? To put a hand on your back when you’re in a crowd?

I shake my head. This is how I got here in the first place. I have no idea what Mr. Right looks like, and I can’t be trusted to find out. I need to figure out what I want before I can even think about being with someone else.

I walk back to my room to get ready for the day. I’ve never felt more alone.

16

Miles

We have some godforsaken hike to go on today, and we’re divided by gender. Hiking is fine, but it’s not ideal for schmoozing with Catherine or selling my love story with Lane. It’s ideal for avoiding Mark the Prick, though. I don’t think he’s ever hiked a day in his life. It’s a sunset hike with some sort of drinking game at the top, so I use the morning to work out in the hotel gym, swim laps in the massive indoor pool, and get some work done.

I haven’t seen Lane all day, and I assume she’s either avoiding me outright or conveniently at an event to which I’m not invited. I hope it’s the latter, but I have a feeling it’s the former.

Fuck. This is a mess. And I can’t help but think that no one is buying our couple schtick. Mark looked suspicious last night, probably because I was frozen with rage. Lane and I need to have a chat later about what fake dating really means.

My email pings with a message from Jonah. I smile, seeing it’s another article, until I see what the topic is, and my smile drops.

“Kings in Trouble? Kings Lane Capital Can’t Close Deals”

What the fuck?

I call Jonah immediately.

“What is this?”

“You tell me.” He’s simmering with anger. I can hear it in his voice.

“Did we lose a deal?”

“Yes, we fucking lost a deal. Check your email. The Stevensons backed out of that joint venture. They said if you can’t keep an engagement, you can’t keep your word. What the fuck is going on out there?”

“Goddamn it.” I shove a hand through my hair, tugging at the strands. “I’ll fix it. It’s Mark. Or Henry Richardson. I spoke to them last night and Mark made some really asshole comments to me. He likes to get under my skin. And Henry doesn’t appear to be buying the fake dating.”

“I told you this was a stupid idea. Have you spoken with Catherine yet?”

“I haven’t seen her. Today, hopefully.” Today after I’ve made sure Lane is still willing to keep the ruse up. She might not be, after last night.

“Well, figure it out,” Jonah seethes. “And if Catherine isn’t buying your story, shove Mark off a cliff or something.”

“It’s tempting, believe me.”

Jonah ends the call, and I lean against the bed. I definitely need to talk to Lane. She’s going to have uncomfortable questions. She probably talked to Liam today, and now she’s going to want to know why we lied, why we were drinking, what happened that night. I don’t want to talk about that night. I don’t even want to think about that night.

I’m heading down to the hike starting point when Liam calls. I’m avoiding looking at the ocean and ignoring the pinch in my chest every time I hear the crash of a wave.

“Hey, man. I’ve been waiting for you to call.”

“You told her.” He sounds tired, resigned.

“Yeah. I should have checked with you first. I know you always wanted to tell her. It just kinda…came out.” It still feels like I betrayed my best friend, though.

“No. It’s fine. I agree.” He sighs. “I just hate knowing Lane thinks less of me.”

“Join the club, man.” I give a short, unhappy laugh.

“You know she doesn’t actually hate you, right?”

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