Page 68 of On the Edge

But his stance didn’t change. His face was still hard, and his eyes were growing darker.

“My best friend, Layla, spilled the beans to Jax about the guys at school. At the start of my senior year, Jax came and visited me. I was actually relieved at the idea of dating him. We’d known each other all our lives and we’d been friends. But a few months into our relationship I realized he was different as a boyfriend.”

I tried to swallow the lump of unease in my throat. “Jax became possessive. He was extremely jealous . . . and even more so once we had sex.” My cheeks heated at the word.

“Jax would show up during the week to visit me by surprise. I’d need to study, or I’d have plans with my friends, and he’d want me to drop everything for him. He even made me quit my waitressing job.”

He remained silent, his eyes on me, his breath steady and controlled.

“The first time he raised his fist at me was when he thought I’d been flirting with some guy at a party. He didn’t actually hit me, and he’d been drinking, so I brushed it off.”

I looked down and noticed that Adam’s hands were clenched at his sides. “The next time, he slapped me. It wasn’t that hard, but it was shocking. To be hit by someone who claims to love you,” I said with a slight tremble to my voice, “is hard to believe. But when he apologized the next day, I’d almost thought I had dreamt it. How could Jax have hit me? I’d known him all my life.”

I rubbed my hand over my face. Thoughts of the past came to my mind.

Jax’s dark, angry stare. His breath on my face as he would hold a hand high above me.

My shoulders began to shake, and it wasn’t until Adam knelt before me, his hands pulling mine inside his, that I was able to talk again.

“The truth is ugly, Adam, and I’m not so innocent. I let it happen to me.”

“No.” His voice was quick and deep. “Hell no.” He tightened his grip on my hands.

“I never realized he’d had a drinking problem. But the more I think back . . . even when we were teens he’d always have a drink in his hands.” I laughed a little, a nervous, embarrassed laugh. “I thought I could fix him, though. When I confronted him about his drinking one weekend, he denied it. He gave me some story, and I wanted to believe him. But then the next time he got drunk and accused me of being too friendly to a guy at my dorm . . .” I shut my eyes. “After each slap or punch, he’d apologize and beg forgiveness. And sometimes I’d try and leave him, but he’d sucker me back, making me think I wasn’t good enough for anyone else. I needed him, he’d say. But when he hurt me this past June, I promised myself that was it.”

Adam’s hand was on my cheek, while his other hand was still wrapped around one of mine. It was strange how it only took one touch from him to calm me down. “It was right after graduation, and I told him I wanted to find a job outside of Kentucky. He completely lost it. He wrapped his hands around my throat and shoved me to the ground. His hands were so tight around my neck, and I thought that was it—I was going to die. And it would serve me right for staying with him so long.”

“Jesus.” He came up next to me on the couch and pulled me against him in one swift movement, tucking my head to his chest, holding me there in place for a few minutes as I allowed the tears to break free. Tears I had kept hidden from everyone else, but now I was shredding the silence. I’d almost begun to believe I’d imagined it all, that it never happened, but the texts from Jax this week had served as a harsh dose of reality. This time, I hadn’t been prepared for the blow. I’d allowed myself to think I could be safe in Dublin, that I could make my past disappear.

I pulled away and pressed my hands to his chest. His heart hammered beneath my shaky palms. “I’m weak. I’m not this headstrong girl I sometimes pretend to be. It’s a lie.”

He lowered his head, his eyes snapping shut.

“I decided I needed to get away, and going to another state didn’t feel far enough. Jax wouldn’t accept that we were broken up. I freaking ran away to Ireland. Yes, I wanted to follow my dreams, but I really just wanted to escape him.” I cleared my throat as I swiped at the tears on my face. My eyes stung as my mascara got wet. “You should fire me.”

“Anna,” he rasped as his blue eyes flashed open to greet mine, “I’m no saint, but you’re about as good as they come. You were trapped and controlled by that arsehole. And you did what you had to do to get away from him, and I never for one second want you to believe that I’d think any less of you for what you told me.” His voice was deep and yet warm, breaking with emotion. “You are strong.” He touched a hand to my chest, placing it firmly over my heart. “I don’t give a bloody hell about the job. It brought you here to me, and that’s all that matters.”

“But—”

He cocked his head, a smile threatening his lips. “What did I tell you about saying ‘but’?”

I almost laughed. He just made me feel so easy in a way that no one else could. But I remembered he had secrets, too. And even though he knew the truth about me now, I still wasn’t prepared to let go of whatever this forbidden thing was between us.

“So?”

“So . . . now I cancel my plans for tonight, and we sit in front of the TV. Or I start you a bath. What might make you feel better?”

What had his plans been so late at night, anyway? But I didn’t really want to know.

“You make me feel better,” I whispered.

His eyes steadied on mine, a deep emotion brewing beneath the surface. His lips drew into a straight line as the muscles in his neck flexed. I wasn’t sure if it was because of what I had told him, or because of what he was holding back from telling me. Either way, there was a subtle change in him.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” he answered in a husky voice.

* * *

That Friday morning, I stared at Adam’s text again, even as I cursed myself for being distracted while working with Rick on our project. But I couldn’t help it.

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