Page 74 of Under the Lion Star

“What happened?” I pressed gently.

“Violet eyes,” he swallowed. “The girl, the witness. I chased her into the woods.”

Liras winced. While all of us had committed unspeakable violence during our time in the war, hurting citizens, especially women, was not something we condoned.

“I threw my dagger at her, right into her thigh,” Orin continued. “To slow her down as she tried to flee.”

His face shifted into a watery smile.

“She ripped it out and threw it back at me,” my brother laughed, but his voice was brittle with emotion. “She was good, too. Nearly hit me. So, I taunted her, but when I got close enough to see her eyes– they reminded me of Mom. More violet than purple, but all I could think about was what Mom would think of me if she were watching the slaughter from the heavens. If she had witnessed what I’d done.”

“Orin,” Liras moved his hand to my brother’s shoulder.

“She passed out. The girl,” he kept talking as his voice struggled further. “I patched her up the best I could, and then I headed north toward the docks. I don’t know how she did it, but she broke the trance, and I just wanted to get out of that town. I felt like I was suffocating. But there were so many bodies. I did that.”

Orin’s shoulders shook as Liras wrapped him in his arms. As much as I had loved hearing his voice again over the past few days, hearing his sobs nearly broke me.

“It’s what we all wanted to do, Orin,” I tried to placate him. “I’m just glad you’re home.”

“How did I get here?”

“Liras,” I tipped my chin toward our friend.

Orin set his head on Liras’s shoulder, sucking in a few deep breaths.

“I think,” Liras hesitated. “I think you shut down as a way for your mind to slowly come to terms with what you’d done.”

Orin nodded slowly, swiping at the tears on his cheeks with his wrist.

“I should be executed,” his eyes lifted to me.

“No,” I reached for his hand, holding it with both of mine. “We need you here.”

“Does Sanna know?” His voice was tight.

“No, but we should tell her. Together. When you’re ready,” I squeezed his hand. “Atlas and Zialda are the only other people that know.”

“Alright,” he sighed.

“We’re all just glad you’re back, okay?” I swallowed harshly. “Now, deal me in.”

The last time the three of us sat around a fire playing cards was on the war front. I smiled at the two of them, glad that we had all made it back from the war alive, even if we were battered and scarred from our time. Not all families had been so lucky.

After just an hour, my coin pouch was empty, and I groaned. However, the money lost was worth the knowledge that Orin had made it out of the darkness. He’d have a way to go, but he was surrounded by people who would guide him each step of the way.

I made my way through the darkened castle to my room and fought against the growl building in my chest when I realized Zialda had woken up and left to sleep in her own room. Aside from our wedding night when she’d roused me from a nightmare and the day I was poisoned, she always slept in her own bed.

And I fucking hated it.

It had been a week since our meeting with the human king. Zialda was sleeping soundly in her bed despite it being almost lunch.

I had spent every night buried inside my wife. I couldn’t get enough of her. But after I fell asleep each night, she’d sneak out of my bed and into her own. Not wanting to face the reality of my feelings for her, I didn’t dwell on why it bothered me so much, just that it did.

I was the one who wanted it this way. I told her as much. Yet now I was upset that she was holding up her end of the deal. But in the few months we’d been married, the ache had only grown, and I wondered how many years I could survive pining for my wife.

Loving her wasn’t an added burden as I feared it would be. If anything, it was an asset. When the weight of things got too heavy, just picturing her in my mind made my body feel lighter. She wasn’t work. She was a blessing.

“Not yet,” she grumbled, rolling over and pulling the covers under her chin.

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