Page 6 of Under the Lion Star

“I’m the oldest,” the words tumbled out. “I’m supposed to be the strong one, and now I can’t even hold it together long enough to tell them what happened. I can’t. I don’t want them to feel like this. I’m supposed to protect them.”

“Protecting them is important, but being with them during hard times that you couldn’t have prevented is just as important. It hurts to watch your sibling suffer,” his voice was strained. “But sometimes all you can do is be there so they don’t suffer alone.”

“She’s dead,” I croaked.

“I’m so sorry,” he held me tighter. “I can stay with you… when you tell them.”

I pulled back to look at him, noting the pained expression on his face.

“You don’t have to do that,” I assured him.

“I want to. So you don't have to suffer alone.”

“Okay,” I breathed. “I’m Zialda.”

“Atlas,” he gave me a sad smile.

“It doesn’t feel real,” I looked down at my feet. “Like she’s going to walk out here, and it will have all been some sort of misunderstanding. It doesn’t feel like my mom is dead.”

“Grief is a strange thing,” Atlas sighed, looking into the darkening sky. “The first few months, the pain is an unbearable constant. Then, one day, you’ll lie down for bed and realize you didn’t think about them once. The loss comes back, accompanied by guilt over forgetting them for an entire day. Then, slowly, the day-to-day impact lessens. The sharp pain becomes an ever-present dull ache. Not because it hurts less, but because you’ve become so accustomed to the feeling of anguish that you can operate despite it.”

“You’ve lost people,” I said, trying to imagine the things that Atlas had seen on the war front.

“Too many,” he shook his head and looked down at his feet. “But I don’t carry my grief alone. You and your sisters won’t either, and although you’ll hate to watch them hurt as you are, you can lean on one another when things are tough.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

“None that I’m close to,” Atlas smiled down at me. “But after the war, it’s something I plan to rectify.”

“I guess I’m ready,” I breathed deeply, finding that the trembling in my body had subsided and speech seemed manageable. “You’ll be with me?”

“Always.”

Chapter 1

Zialda

Mera was so petite but so fucking loud.

I groaned, rolling over in bed and shielding my eyes from the sun that had burnt away the previous day's cloud cover. The fact that the rays still fell through the aggravating gaps in my curtains meant it was far too early to be awake.

“Alda!” Mera shouted once more from down the stairs. “We’re not going to get a good spot if you don’t get your ass down here!”

“Language,” I heard my mom scold.

With a resigned grunt, I rolled onto my back. I turned, setting my feet on the floor, and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I hated waking up before noon.

I walked the several steps to the wardrobe, sifting through the numerous pieces that Yunia and Lina had made for me over the years. At this rate, one of my sisters would need to become a carpenter to build me another armoire.

Mera burst through the door without knocking, glancing at me through narrowed eyes before sighing and throwing herself onto my bed. For the nine hundredth time, I asked myself why I was still living at home at twenty-eight.

Because you have no passion, drive, purpose, ambition…

I shook my head to stop the annoying ramble my inner monologue always went down. It wasn’t wrong, though. My fingers tugged on the various articles of clothing as I hastily assembled an outfit.

Mera was eating a muffin, still lying on my bed.

“You’re wearing a dress,” I frowned. She peered up at me. “Does the occasion call for it?”

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