Page 24 of Under the Lion Star

“I’d like to see that.”

“Fuck off,” I waved him away with a laugh as our food arrived.

I tried to remember the last time I ate cairns. The small balls of sausage, stacked neatly and covered in creamy gravy, had once been a favorite of mine. The two of us ate in relative silence, although El took the time to comment on how quickly I devoured my food.

“I think I’m where you were at,” he said so quietly I almost missed it.

“Where I was at?”

“My parents’ deaths,” he hesitated. “Weren’t natural. My sister, she’s the youngest, is struggling. I just find myself wondering what I can do to help her, but it also serves to let me ignore my own grief.”

“With you home now, I’m sure it helps,” I offered. “Just make sure you show her that you’re not going anywhere.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, looking out at the bar.

“How is your brother coping? And his friend?”

El’s chest filled with a deep breath that he let out in a long, slow sigh.

“Gods, where do I even start?”

He shook his head as he gathered his thoughts, his eyes growing dimmer with each passing second. I wondered if I had pushed too far, but after a long pause, he finally spoke again.

“They both got special exceptions and joined the war effort at only fifteen. I knew it was a terrible idea as soon as my parents told me about it on one of my visits home,” El put his elbows on the table and held his head in his hands. “My brother is a good kid but bottles up his feelings.”

“Wonder where he gets that from?” I raised a knowing brow.

“Yeah,” he huffed out a laugh. “The problem is that eventually, he boils over and lashes out. Never at anyone undeserving, but he’s prone to violence. At first, I thought it might make him a valuable soldier…”

His words trailed off as his eyes took on a faraway stare.

“But?” I prompted.

“But nothing. He was a good soldier. They both were. Fought for the last four years and worked their way up the ranks far faster than I did. My brother made a name for himself and took small towns with minimal losses on either side.”

I waited for El to continue, sensing that there had to be more he was withholding.

“When he got back,” El pressed his eyes closed and took a deep breath. “The brother I knew was gone. There’s a shell of a person living in my home. He can walk, eat, he bathes himself, but he hasn’t spoken a word. He doesn’t acknowledge any of us. It’s as if we’re all ghosts.”

“Gods,” I breathed. “What happened to him?”

El’s body went rigid, and I had finally found the line of our conversation that pressed against the final wall he kept between us. He shook his head, his eyes pleading with me not to push further.

“Time, in many cases, is the best medicine of all,” I offered. “You’re the oldest, so they rely on you as the anchor. Just be present. Keep showing up, even when it seems like you’re not making any progress.”

“I will,” El vowed. “Thank you for listening.”

“What are friends for?” I gave him a crooked smile, earning one of my own from El.

“Let me make sure you get home okay, and you’d better take it easy until your head is healed.”

“Who’s going to punish me if I don’t?” I asked.

El went rigid before letting out a small laugh. When we finally left the tavern, it was late into the night. Few people remained on the streets of Galvord as I directed El to my house. His arm wrapped around my waist anytime we crossed paths with other elves. Despite his readiness to handle any threat, we made it home without El having to kill anyone along the journey.

At my doorstep, El remained on the cobblestone sidewalk. He studied the cut on the side of my face once more before nodding to himself in a silent conversation that I wished I could be a part of.

“I’ll see you again, right?” I asked, resting my hand on the doorknob behind me.

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