Page 9 of Under the Lion Star

“You spoil me!” Mom cooed, pulling Zara into her side.

My little sister had insisted she be the one to deliver the box of pastries that we’d brought home. It sometimes hurt to watch her with our mother, knowing that she had been too young to remember anything about our life before. Melna was all she knew; in some ways, it made me sad for her, and in others, it made me jealous.

After dinner, my sisters left to do their own things. Somehow, even twelve-year-old Zara better understood who she was than I did. Nima was in love with a guy she met at university. The twins were attending school while apprenticing under a seamstress. Mera worked at the archives in the library.

Not me. I didn’t bother finishing university. I’d barely started it. Being surrounded by other elves who seemed much more intelligent and capable was awful. I knew on day one I didn’t belong, but I sat through the entire lecture praying no one would point out that I was a fraud—an imposter.

I never went to another class.

Mom and Dad didn’t push it. After all, not everyone took the university route, but I hadn’t found another path, so I remained stagnant.

“Alda,” my mother cut in through my thoughts of failure, pushing the box of baked goods toward me. “Help me with these, or I may eat myself to sickness.”

“I suppose I could assist you with this most burdensome task.”

“Always making such sacrifices for our family,” she smiled.

That I was good at. I never hesitated to jump in and help Nima study or model for the twins. Doing things to ensure my siblings could succeed is what drove me. Too bad that couldn’t be a career.

“Did you run into Atlas? How is he?”

“He looked good,” I said. “I imagine all of the returned soldiers might have to take some time to adjust to being back in Fjorn after so many years away.”

“I hope our new king understands the importance of allocating resources to meet the needs of those men and women,” Mom’s brows pinched together.

“He fought as well,” I offered around a mouthful of flaky crust. “I’m sure he is going through the same adjustments.”

“Gods guide them all,” she nodded. “And what about you? Anything new?”

“Not really,” I winced. “Just same old Zialda.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” she smiled. “Although Lady Narrish did want to arrange a date between you and her son.”

“Mom,” I sighed, holding my head in my hands.

“I know,” she waved her hand at me. “Just thought I would offer.”

“I can barely care for myself some days,” I groaned. “I don’t want to add a man to that.”

“Any potential partner you have to care for as one would a child isn’t worth your time,” she smiled. “A good partner should never feel like a burden. You help them, but they help you. It’s give and take.”

I shrugged.

“Society might say otherwise,” she continued, wiping off the crumbs from the table and into her palm. “But you don’t need to be married. You should, however, be having fun.”

“I have fun,” I protested. “Tons of it.”

“I meant the kind of fun involving another warm body,” she winked.

“Gods guide me,” I looked up at the ceiling.

“I just worry about you,” she sighed. “You’ve always been a bit of an introvert, which is fine, but it wouldn’t hurt to expand your circle beyond family members.”

“I’ve got Atlas,” I pointed out.

“Alda,” she offered me a sad smile. “If you don’t go out and take risks, you won’t find what makes you light up. I’ve watched you start so many avenues, only to back up to the starting line because you convince yourself you’re incapable.”

“That’s not true,” my brows pinched together as I tried to find any example that would disprove her words.

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