Page 5 of Gotta Kiss A Few Frogs

Emmett

“How have you been, Emmett? It’s been too long since you’ve been home.” Ethel Grady asks. Her wispy white hair and frail features give her the sweet, grandmotherly appearance that belies her normally sharp personality. I miss the days when she would wave her finger at me and demand I sit in my seat and focus on the problem on the board. Her wrath is preferable to the pity that shines from her gaze as she watches me now.

A glance at the clock shows we aren’t even open for another forty-five minutes. I sigh and move to grab a bottle of water from behind the bar. She doesn’t drink. Which means the only reason she’s here is to check on me. It’s always like this when I come home. Which is precisely why I’ve done my best to avoid it for so long. Until I couldn’t anymore. “I’m fine, Miss Grady.” Even years later calling her by her first name feels wrong. She would always be Miss Grady to me. Holding the bottle of water out to her I say it again, “just fine.” I’m not sure if I’m telling her or myself this time.

It’s not a lie. I am fine. I’ve been fine for a long time now. They say time heals all wounds and it’s certainly been long enough to heal mine. But something about being back in this town seems to pick and pick at my old wounds until they feel fresh.

Judging by the disbelieving stare I’m receiving, Miss Grady isn’t buying it any more than I am. “I’ve told you to call me Ethel, now.” She grabs the bottle and breaks her stare long enough to wiggle onto the bar stool. At five foot nothing that takes a substantial amount of wiggling and only the knowledge that my help will be unwelcome keeps me from walking around the bar to offer it.

Miss Grady huffs out a breath as she finally situates herself on the seat and takes a deep drink of her water. Newly hydrated, she starts again, softer this time, “you know we’re all just worried about you.”

I nod because I do know that. And even if I didn’t, the steady stream of people dropping by the bar to check on me the last few months would have made that clear. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out if there was a sign-up sheet floating around somewhere. “I know, but I’m fine.” There it was. That word again. Why did it seem like I was less and less fine the more I said it?

Miss Grady’s eyes softened as she watched me. This is the main reason I avoided coming home for so long. Pity seems to stalk me at every turn in this town. There aren’t any other customers to distract myself with since we still haven’t technically opened for business for the day, so I pull out the bar towel and begin to wipe the scarred, wooden surface. I’m hoping she will take the hint and move along, but I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. “If you’re so fine surely you won’t mind me giving my niece your number, then? Handsome young man like yourself shouldn’t be alone all the time.”

Fury builds in my chest and my fist clenches around the towel, but I bite back the acidic retort on my tongue. They mean well. I know they do. But I could do without the meddling. “I’m not interested.” I go to turn away, all pretense of politeness gone, but her hand on my arm stops me.

“Maria wouldn’t have wanted you to give up on love entirely, Emmett.” I don’t look at her. I can’t. Because while I might have been fine moments before, that name shatters me. Suddenly the nearly empty room is too full. Too loud. My skin feels too tight, and my chest hollow.

I need to get out of here. That thought pounds like a drumbeat in my head and I’m moving toward the door before I even make the conscious decision to do so. The fresh, cool air hits my face and I’m gasping for it like a drowning man. My thoughts swirl in my head as my chest heaves. I’m fine. This is fine. Everything is fine.

“Hey,” I hear Cash before I see him. He’s usually the happy, carefree sibling, but now he’s watching me with a somber worry that I’m so tired of seeing. I’m the oldest. I should have my shit together and be the one they can lean on.

“I’m…” I start to say ‘fine’ but my voice trails off before I can voice the lie. He knows I’m not fine. I lean against the brick building, slipping my hands in my pockets as I try to look anywhere but at my brother as I search for the right words. “I didn’t think it would be this hard. After so many years…”

He sighs and turns to lean against the wall at my side, both of us staring off into the distance like the answers to all our problems might jump out from behind one of the slowly moving cars. “There’s no time limit on grief, brother. And…” Cash weighs his words carefully before continuing, “you took off so fast after it happened that you didn’t really give yourself a chance to grieve.”

“It was easier. Here I saw her –saw us—everywhere I went. I couldn’t get away from the memories anywhere I turned. I couldn’t breathe here.” I joined the military to get away from this town and the memories it held for me. I threw myself into my career, climbing the ranks all the way to Master Sergeant. And if it hadn’t been for my father retiring and Cash needing me to come home and help him run the business, I probably wouldn’t have put in for early retirement and dragged myself back here. Even now, months into it, I still wasn’t sure this was the right idea. But no going back now. And besides, this had always been the plan.

Cash is silent for so long that I start to think the conversation is over. But finally, he says, “look, you go ahead and take off. I can cover your shift today. Get some fresh air, get your head on straight and come back here tomorrow.”

It’s tempting. Talking with Miss Grady left me feeling exposed and raw. I don’t want to be here another ten hours. But I also know Cash has plans with a certain lady friend. And there’s no reason we should both be miserable tonight. “No, it’s okay. TJ and I have tonight covered. Go. Have fun.”

He watches me for a moment. I’m not sure what he’s looking for but eventually he nods and steps from the wall. “Just call if you need anything, okay?”

four

What decade is it anyway?

Of the seventy-four notifications, we were able to find one man who seems decently good-looking, somewhat entertaining, and even tried to carry on an actual conversation rather than just photo bombing us.

I’m not convinced he’s my prince, but as of now, he’s the only prospect on my board. So, I’ll give him a chance.

Per his request, we meet for dinner at the only Mexican restaurant in town. Consequently, it also happens to be walking distance from Millie’s family’s bar in case I want to extend the evening, so I offer no argument. Dinner itself is going well; all things considered. Our corner booth is tucked into the back of the restaurant and the low, warm lighting provides the illusion of privacy with just a hint of romance. But it’s just that, an illusion, because while he’s classically handsome in his custom-tailored suit that fits him like a glove and his perfectly styled blonde locks, there isn’t a romantic bone in his body.

Adam’s in corporate law, which, to me, seems dreadfully dull, but he seems to have a passion for it. Only superseded by the passion he has for himself. I feel like an extra on the movie set of my own date for all the interest he shows in me. Normally this would be a red flag all on its own, but I hold my smile firmly in place and try to insert myself in some parts of the conversation. Okay, maybe I’m trying too hard to make this work, but I’m hanging on by a thread at this point. I need this date to go well after the complete crapshow this entire experience has been so far.

My overall impression of Adam is that he’s a fine man, maybe a bit lackluster and a little self-absorbed, but not bad comparatively. His eyes don’t wander the room in search of better-looking company, and he even chews with his mouth closed. I can work with this. I probably should be alarmed by how low my standards have fallen in such a short time, but I brush those pesky thoughts aside. I meant what I said to Millie. The dating world has never been easy for me. As a socially awkward, curvy woman, I’m not every man’s cup of tea. So, I’m willing to give Adam the benefit of the doubt even if he hasn’t exactly knocked my socks off yet. The night’s still young.

After finishing dinner, I suggest we make our way to the bar. Not because I’m so enamored that I’m not ready to end the evening just yet, but more because I’m hoping a few drinks will loosen him up enough that I can really start to learn more about him. Plus, I can use a little liquid courage myself. Maybe if I can get Adam to loosen up a bit, he might seem a little less one-dimensional.

It’s the hopeless romantic in me who can’t help but note that he didn’t help me into my coat or hold the door open for me as we stepped out into the windy, winter day. Or the fact that on the walk to the bar, he walked on the inside of the sidewalk, not the outside, and didn’t make any attempts to grab my hand or put his arm around me to abate the chill. By the time we reach the bar, I’m not at all surprised to see Adam walk in ahead of me, letting the door go so I have to lurch forward and grab it. He doesn’t notice as he takes a quick survey of the dimly lit room and moves to sit at the bar.

Again, feeling like a spare part on this date, I trail after him and take the stool to his right. Draping my coat over the back of the stool, I cross my legs and tilt to face Adam with my inauthentic smile still firmly in place. It’s fine. So, Adam isn’t chivalrous. Not many men are today, and I’m a big girl. I can open my own doors.

“Hey,” I’m working too hard to sound cheerful and happy, but it’s not like he notices. Adam barely even glances in my direction before he turns away and motions the bartender over.

Desperate, I try to see who’s working tonight. The perk of knowing the owners is that I also know most of the employees, and I could really use a friendly face right now. A genuine smile fills my face when I see it’s TJ. I feel more than a little relieved about that. Adam throws a much more charismatic smile at TJ than he’s given me all night and puts in our order. Without asking me what I’d like.

---