She took a seat on the pink rock stool beside her, seemingly happy to explain. “Well, every planet in the galaxy has something unique to offer. For instance, the Sah-rk people of Oshee-an-ee-ah have a plant that only grows in their soil. It’s similar to what we’d call bamboo, but it has really good nutritional value and health benefits.” I nodded along, remembering the huge crates being lugged from ship to sand by big baby-blue shark dudes. It was kinda disappointing to find out they’d only contained plants.
I didn’t know what I had expected, but a cursed antique idol would’ve been cool.
“U’suhk has a gem that only forms under our mountains—harr-kawl. We mine it solely for the purpose of trade, as it has no use to us, but for other planets, it’s a really energy-efficient fuel for their machines and ships. It’s healthier for the air than any other source, and lasts much, much longer.” Who’d have guessed that aliens were so eco-friendly? But of course they were. Only humans got a kick out of ruining their planet.
“We swap for whatever they’re willing to give,” she continued. “Materials we cannot harvest ourselves, like the bamboo, but also seeds to grow plants and flowers that aren’t native to us—anything I can use for healing purposes. In turn, if we’re not giving out haar-kawl, our furs are quite popular. The animals here are made of much sterner stuff.”
“Makes sense,” I said, “but my bobble hats probably wouldn’t compare.”
“They would with the humans. While each planet has its own climate, and ways to combat it, I’m positive most of the humans would appreciate having something human made.”
My face must’ve twisted with a funny expression before I could stop it, because she leveled me with a withering look. “I told you, all the humans I have encountered are well treated and respected. They won’t be left to freeze to death or be denied a home comfort.”
“Alright, alright,” I yielded. This woman really was adamant that this place was paradise and not as awful as it looked on paper. Maybe I should believe her? “Well, if I can get some yarn or whatever, I’ll start making a stockpile.”
She nodded. “I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, have a wander in the forest and pick up a fallen branch or two. They are squishy in their natural form, but harden when they’re fired up. They’d be perfect for a crochet needle.”
“Really? I have to brave that creep-fest again?” I groaned, and she snorted.
“It’s safe for you,” she assured me, though I was still leery. “Just keep to the outskirts and you’ll be grand.”
“Fine. I’ll go tomorrow.” The sooner I did, the quicker I’d have a task to keep myself occupied with. It would give me something to think about other than being on an alien planet as the personal fuckhole to a king.
Pft. I wasn’t even that anymore. It had been three days, and despite my earlier grumblings, I was actually feeling a little neglected.
“And whenever you need a break from crocheting all day, you can come and help me in here,” Fiona suggested, and I wasn’t against that plan. “I haven’t the time to teach you to be a healer, but I can give you the basics.”
“Sweet.” I perked up, but shifted too quickly on my stool, forgetting my ailment, and a sharp pain shot up my spine.
I hissed.
Fiona’s hand was covering mine in an instant, concern creasing her brow. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I just…” Took a monstrous bulb in my ass three nights ago, no biggie. Shit, I’d never ached for this long after sex before. It wasn’t outright pain, just a tenderness similar to an old bruise, and with how far he’d reached, I wasn’t sure which of my organs was causing the sensation.
Voh-ack had clearly taken the phrase ‘blow his back out’ literally.
“A little sore, that’s all,” I said, rubbing the spot as if it would magically heal.
Fiona didn’t seem convinced. “You sure? Do you need something?”
I knew she meant a potion or whatever, but I kinda preferred knowing the mechanics of my husband’s anatomy. Just to be better prepared. “Um… I can ask you anything, right?”
“Of course.”
I paused briefly. What had he called it? “What’s a… knot?”
She chuckled fondly, withdrawing her hand, expression turning clinical. “The biological purpose is to aid conception. The base of a male’s penis swells after ejaculation, locking the fluids inside their partner so eggs have a better chance of catching.”
Eggs? What? My hand shot to my stomach on reflex. “He tried to knock me up?!”
Fuck, and there I’d been, thinking I was immune to lee-zurd reproduction because I was human. That was all I fucking needed, to be walking around with fertilized lizard eggs in my belly. I was all for a breeding kink, but Jesus Christ. That would definitely make escaping difficult.
“Instinctively, yes,” she said, calm as she pleased. “Though you cannot conceive, his body recognizes you as a mate and won’t stop trying, even outside of his season.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “I can’t get pregnant?”
“Currently, no.”