Page 67 of You're Not My King!

Hunched over, I buried my fingers in the sand, churning it up to stop the tears from slipping down my cheeks. It didn’t work. They fell regardless, making dark green wet patches form under my hands, and I was surprised there were even any left in my ducts with the amount I’d cried over the last week.

I felt so weak and stupid. This was exactly what I had been afraid of. Vo’ak was supposed to be the good guy, not the one who made me blubber like a baby every five seconds. I’d been dealt enough shit, and I genuinely believed he was different. The bond we had was unlike anything I’d ever known, and I’d put stock in that, had given up on the idea of running because I thought he was worth staying for, but I’d fucked up again. I had told him about my past and he’d thrown it back in my face. I was expected to know all the customs, to be the perfect little mate. I already felt dumb for not learning quickly enough, and the scolding had driven that point home.

I didn’t belong here.

I sniffed, wiping my nose on my sleeve before crawling to the edge of the river like the pathetic mess I was. It seemed ironic that I would end up here of all places, the spring I’d spent months mapping out the route to, hoping to find some of those berries and never look back. Intelligence often eluded me, but I clearly had an imagination to make up for it.

For a long time, I just stared into the water, letting the soft backward trickle over the rocks calm my rage. The river was so clear that I could see the bottom past my reflection, and the sweet scent soothed something in me, but it wasn’t enough to cure the ache in my chest, or loosen the tightness around my heart.

Huffing, I scooped the turquoise water into my cupped hands, drinking my fill and wondering what the hell my next move was gonna be. I could live here, like some kind of nomad. It was picturesque, with lots of shade and, obviously, its own water supply. I would just build a hut and probably starve to death or be mauled by whatever beast I mistakenly tried to hunt. That was assuming the clan didn’t come after me first, which was highly likely. They wouldn’t just let me set up camp barely two miles away, and who was I kidding? I couldn’t survive on my own on an alien planet. I could barely survive on Earth, and it had takeout and electricity. I wasn’t cut out for the loner life, even if I’d had no choice in the matter before.

I could try running away as I’d planned, but in my rush to get out of Dodge, I’d forgotten my knapsack of essentials. I wouldn’t get far without those, especially the snacks I’d packed. Even after all this time learning under Fiona, I didn’t know what was foragable, and without her trusty medical journal, I didn’t think it’d be safe to use trial and error. Were there fish? Well, I knew there were fish somewhere on the planet, but I couldn’t remember if they lurked in every watering hole or only in specific locations. Knowing U’suhk, they probably flew since everything else was so damned backward.

I glanced into the spring again, taking a closer look now that I was actually searching for something. Not that I had any tools even if I did spot any, but making a rod out of fallen branches felt like a lot less hassle than making whatever I’d need to kill and skin some other creature.

All hypothetical, of course. I’d starve out here before catching a fish. I really was that useless. My grandpa had tried taking my sister and me when we were kids—nothing like cold-ass weather, a rickety old boat, and animal mutilation to bond with your grandkids. Kat had been decent at it until she realized the fish would have to die, then she was inconsolable. Whereas I wasn’t a fan from the moment maggots were introduced, but when we’d finally reeled something in and it’d squirmed in my hands, that was me thoroughly traumatized.

Grandpa had closed his eyes, prayed to the sky for strength, then rowed us back to shore with Kat and me sobbing the entire way. I snorted at the memory. Barely thirteen minutes we’d been out on that water, and I doubted I would ever break that record. I wasn’t a hunter or a gatherer. I was a food delivery services or instant ramen kinda guy. Still, I scanned the pond, noticing a lot of leafage, kinda similar to seaweed but frillier, and some little purple flowers dwelling along the bed.

I was about to give up, having surveyed the entire area twice with no success, but my eyes caught sight of something familiar peeking out from the rock wall. There were no fish, but there was a small bushel of those mate-be-gone berriesan arm’s length away. They were pretty well camouflaged, and it had only been a double take and pure chance that I’d spotted them. It seemed a waste not to grab them when they were right there, even just for backup.

I reached in, straining against the bank until my fingertips brushed the spiky leaves. It was still too far, but I’d made this much effort, so I wasn’t giving up. Lying flat, I squirmed forward, my shoulder joining my arm in the water, and only then did I finally manage to grab a handful of the plant, bringing it slowly to the surface so I wouldn’t lose any berries. They were exactly like the picture in Fiona’s notebook, small and plump, and it was mad how something so unassuming could hold so much power. Nature was both terrifying and cool as fuck, especially on an alien planet.

As I rolled the pink berries in my palm, I imagined how much simpler everything would be without the damn bond—well, not being abducted would have been the preferred option, but it was too late for that now. I mean, the tie didn’t affect me the same, except for the heightened arousal thing, but it gave Vo’ak the right to act like an ass and see me as his property if the notion took him. That thought had a fresh wave of anger rushing through me.

I hadn’t exactly been treated badly, or given any reason to hate my lot, apart from the whole lack of freedom factor, but it was the principle. Mates were the norm among Ly’zrd, so, being the ignorant little human, I had to just bow and accept it? Nu-uh. That didn’t bounce with me. There was one thing I hated more than vegetables, feet, and doing anything that took effort, and that was being told what to do outside of the bedroom.

I tossed a handful of berries into my mouth and chewed. The juice burst across my tongue, tart and bitter, just like the regret I felt sinking into my belly and knocking me sick. I was being impulsive. Had I learned nothing from all those years of shoving random drugs into my mouth? I spat the mushed-up berries onto the sand before gargling water to rid myself of the taste and residue. I hoped that not swallowing them would mean the effects wouldn’t stick.

Christ, what was I doing? Was I really so pissed off that I’d throw away the last few months because… What? He’d reacted to my outburst? No shit. I’d all but screamed in his face that he had no authority over me, which wasn’t a lie, but it was up there with the top things you should never say to a literal king.

Whoever had decided to put me in the path of royalty clearly had a sense of humor.

I tucked my bent legs against my chest, resting my cheek on my knee as I waited for my skin and clothes to dry under the sun. Of course I was gonna return to camp. I’d made the choice to stay here, so I had to make an effort. I’d had enough excitement for one day, expelled enough energy for a lifetime, and the more I calmed down, the quicker I was realizing that I’d maybe, slightly overreacted. But why should Vo’ak be let off so easily? He should be given the chance to grovel, to explain, and be told, in no uncertain terms, that if he ever tried to shut me down again, I would cut off his… fingers. Not his dick. That shit was way too important.

I was done running from my problems. I’d done it on Earth plenty, and I’d done it here because it was instinct, but I had to break that mold. I was sick of playing the coward. Sure, it was an efficient way to cope, to duck your responsibilities and breeze past the drama, but I wanted to settle, to heal and be fucking loved. Did I not deserve it? I wasn’t going to be treated like a doormat. I’d rolled over and taken it with Zack, had put up with the beatings because of the high that came after, but I wouldn’t submit this time.

Not when I knew the connection was better, despite its rocky start—or it could be, if I actually gave it a chance.

Exhaling deeply, I shuffled backward until I could prop myself against the nearest tree, the squidge not even bothering me anymore. I was going to have it out with my mate and work through it, but in my own sweet time. There was no harm in sitting alone, basking in the solitude for a while without all the pressure and eyes on me.

Vo’ak could suffer and stew a little longer.

At least… that was the intention, until I heard the telltale pat of footsteps advancing from behind me. I groaned toward the heavens, betting with myself whether it would be Vo’ak or one of his merry men trudging through the forest, searching for me. Maybe it was the whole clan, making an excursion out of it.

“Took you long enough.” I scoffed, hauling myself to my feet and dusting off my pants. “I was starting to think you?—”

It wasn’t Vo’ak.

Or any of his men.

“Ah, shit.” I retreated slowly from the two short blue aliens advancing on me.

They definitely weren’t Ly’zrd, and they weren’t the Sahrk or the Paah’rot species I’d seen at the trading bay before. They resembled overgrown humanoid rats or mice, with rows of sharp fangs, large spiral horns, and slick tails.

Weren’t they the ones Fiona had said attacked Vo’ak?

Fury rose up from my gut. If only I had a weapon and an ounce of skill to use it, I’d probably have waved it around and made a dick of myself, but the thought counted. I kept taking steps backward, eyes fixed on the whips in their hands and the bows strapped to their backs. I was hoping if I stretched the gap between us enough, I could swivel in the opposite direction and sprint back to camp. If I screamed, would the clan hear me?

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