Page 75 of Rugged and Filthy

It was Hudson’s turn to grab my arm, pulling me against the exterior wall of the roughneck quarters. He planted a hand on one side of my head, crowding my space.

“Don’t say that, Rylee. There are always choices. Sometimes, you need to look outside the box and be willing to take uncomfortable risks in order to achieve success. And sometimes, you must face crippling fears, and destroy your demons. Do me a favor and don’t sell any of us short. I get how we started was unconventional. I know you feel deceived on several levels. I respect you’re angry and hurt, worried about your son and your entire family, but don’t continue to shove yourself inside a locked box. You might be surprised the magic Jack can work on systems. And I know my way around production facilities. Just give me a little time and have some faith. That’s all the three of us are asking. Do you think you can do that?”

His words were… chilling. They also managed to cut through more bullshit than I wanted to admit.

“Why do any of you care?” The other two men stood a few feet away, watching our interaction with complete interest.

“Why?” he repeated, half laughing.

“Yes, I want to know. The three of you act as if you can swoop in and become my saviors. But you don’t know me. You don’t know my father and you certainly don’t know much about what I’ve been through or what I want. Now, you do know that you could be in danger just by associating with me, let alone the danger created by being on an unknown rig. So why are the three of you bothering? Some crazy sense of loyalty?”

“You know what struck me the night we met you?”

“Do I want to know?” I asked. While I’d gone for continued defiance, I honestly wanted to see why they were bothering. Maybe I needed someone in my corner other than just my family.

Or maybe the truth was that I was terrified of failing my father and the memory of my husband.

“You wear a cool mask of indifference, biting off more than you should be required to chew, terrified to show vulnerability to anyone, including your family. You’re like an electric storm waiting to explode while praying no one will see through a coat of armor so thick I’m surprised you’re standing without assistance. You purposely push everyone away so you won’t get hurt again. Meanwhile, you know you’re not living. You’re surviving. You died the day your husband walked in front of that car. He wasn’t a coward, Rylee. He was trying to be the man you’d fallen in love with, the one who’d promised to love and cherish you until death. And he wanted desperately to find a way to keep you safe and protected. Give him and all those men who need your patience and understanding a fucking break. And remember that not everyone in the world has sinister reasons to provide assistance.”

The pulse in my throat was throbbing every time I tried to swallow. He was right. I’d worked so hard to deny my sadness and terror that I didn’t recognize myself any longer. I wasn’t used to seeing this side of Hudson, the simmer of hostility and arrogance drawing me in just as the other two had done. My attraction also confused me, so much so I remained breathless, longing for the man to kiss me.

That was silly. I was supposed to be a professional, yet around them I acted like a simpering child in need of a hard spanking. I hated myself and my behavior.

He gripped my chin with his free hand, preventing me from turning my head even though I immediately tried. “I’m going to give you one last piece of advice. Stop fighting against everything and everyone around you. Maybe, just maybe there are some decent people in this world. Whatever Madden Byrne wants seems to include you. Unacceptable. Maybe we can be your heroes. Maybe we can’t, but how about letting us try? Do you think you can do that?”

“You still didn’t answer my question. Why do you want to?”

“You are without a doubt the most stubborn redheaded woman I’ve ever met. What am I saying?” Hudson snorted. “You’re the most pigheaded woman, period. And I’ve met a lot of them including the woman who dumped me because my career was tanked from a terrible injury. We all have our crosses to bear, sweetheart. Mine might not seem so tragic to you, but my father and brother, both superstars in the world of hockey, basically disowned me. The only people I had in my corner and who acted like they gave a damn were Jack and Foxx. And yeah, Jack is an ex-con. He killed a man with his bare hands and I applauded his decision in doing so because the woman he was trying to protect was an ex who wanted nothing to do with him. Yet Jack stepped in when all the other fucking worthless men inside that bar who’d seen Jenny get abused time and time again were fucking cowards. It took Jack to give her back the rest of her life. And do you know what burns Foxx and me about the whole thing, other than the fucking up-and-coming prosecutor who wanted the fancy job of judge he eventually got?”

“What?” I barely whispered.

“She never said thank you.” He lowered his head, shifting his hand so he could place his index finger against my lips. He was so close that the electricity surged between us. I was as breathless as ever, shocked by the anger and passion in his voice, the love he had for his two buddies. As if he’d lay down on railroad tracks for the two men.

At that moment, I knew without a doubt I was falling head over heels in love with all three.

Yes, it was terrifying. Yes, I wasn’t ready. And no, I had no desire to shove them away any longer.

“Thank you for everything, including the tough talk,” I said, the only words I could muster in return for such an amazing soliloquy.

His face remained pinched and suddenly, one of my employees was right there, acting concerned. None of them had ever done that for me before.

“Are you okay, Mrs. Donnelly?” Rory asked in a gruff voice.

I darted my eyes in his direction. It was past time to let my guard down. A single tear slipped past my lashes. “I’m fine, Rory. Just fine. And please call me Rylee. Okay?”

I wasn’t certain what surprised me more. The look of shock on Rory’s face or the one of satisfaction on Hudson’s.

“Where is Conor?” I asked, suddenly realized I hadn’t seen Conor McCarthy on the rig. With Declan gone, this was considered his baby.

Rory lifted his eyebrows. “He hadn’t been heard from. I don’t know.”

The weight of anticipated danger and uncertainty was crushing but I refused to allow the unknown to break me any more than it already had. “Then you and Cormac are in charge, promoted. I want you to do whatever you can to make this rig presentable and ready to sell if that’s a possibility. Work with the Americans on a list of needed equipment. We’re going to turn this puppy around no matter what it takes.”

All three of the men I’d come to adore looked on with smiles on their faces.

“Yes, ma’am,” Rory said, his eyes lighting up. “We’re ready.” He tipped his head to the others. “Whatever you need, boys. Just come ask.”

“I appreciate it, Rory,” Foxx told him, his grin just like it had been the night before.

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