Page 8 of Sugarplum

“Because of what happened between us?”

“Well…yeah. I broke your heart, Chace. What I did was horrible. I shouldn’t have done it, and I’m really sorry about it, but I honestly don’t think there are enough words in the universe to encompass how sorry I am.”

“I know,” he said quietly.

Julie’s head snapped up. “You do?”

“I’m not saying that what you did was okay, but I saw things more clearly after we broke up. I know that I played a part in our break up too. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to stop.”

“Oh,” Julie responded, unsure of what to say.

She took a deep breath and exhaled harshly. “I know that you pushed me away, Chace, but that didn’t give me the right to seek comfort in someone else’s arms. I never meant for it to turn out that way. At first, he was just someone to talk to, especially when you were gone for a really long time, but when I lost my grandma, and you weren’t there, I couldn’t deal with it. I never should’ve let him kiss me Chace, no matter how I felt about my grandma’s death, or about you, or about us.”

Chace sighed. “You shouldn’t have, you’re right, but I also know that I shut you out. I didn’t know how to deal with your grief, I didn’t know what to say to make it better, so it was easier to just pretend that I was caught up in work to cover up for the fact that it was killing me inside to see you like this, and I wish I had told you all of this before.”

Julie gave him a sad smile. “I wish you had told me too.”

“I was angry for such a long time Jules,” Chace said as he looked up at the night sky. “I wanted so badly to hate you, and for a minute there, I almost had myself convinced that I did. It’s easier to blame other people than it is to find a flaw in yourself. I needed to own up to that.”

“It’s okay, Chace.”

Chace’s eyes wandered back to hers, and they gazed into each other’s eyes for a moment.

“I appreciate the fact that you want to share the blame, but I let it go too far. I made the conscious decision that destroyed us, and I wish more than anything in this world that I could take it back because I miss you every day.”

Chace shook his head. “Julie, I—“

Julie held up her hand. “Please. Just let me finish. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss you, that I don’t think about you, or what you’d say about a certain thing. I miss your laugh, your smile, and the way you’d shake your head at my antics. I miss you so much that there are days I lay in bed, and I wonder how I’m supposed to get up and go about my day like I usually do. Because missing you is agonizing and unbearable, and not missing you? That’s just unthinkable. I know that what I did was horrible, and I don’t know if you can ever forgive me much less sit there in front of me right now telling me that you understand.”

Julie paused and took a deep breath as the words came tumbling out of her, like a dam that had finally come undone. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness Chace, but by God, if I could just have one more chance with you, I’d fight like hell. I wouldn’t let your fears, and my insecurities shake us because you are worth it. You have always been worth it. You are the only man on the face of this Earth who saw me, the real me, flaws and all, and you didn’t run, and that—with all said and done—is worth everything.”

Chace studied her for a moment. “I don’t understand.”

“I want you back, Chace. I know that you might not think it’s a good idea to trust me again, but I’m asking you if it’s possible for me to win you back because if it is, then I’m going to grab onto that chance with everything in me.”

Chace opened and closed his mouth several times. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

Julie’s heart plummeted in her chest, but she refused to give up hope. “I’ve been thinking about what I’d say to you if I ever saw you again, and I had this entire speech mapped out in my head; what I was going to say, how you’d react, and how eventually we’d find a way back to each other, and I believe that. I do believe that we will. I just want to know if you believe it too.”

Chace dragged a hand through his hair. “Jules, I--I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say here, but I do know the difference between what my heart is telling me, and what my head is screaming at me. My head is telling me to turn tails and bolt because I don’t ever want to be put in a position where I have to face that kind of pain again, but my heart—“

He stopped and took her hand in his. He brought it up to his chest, and placed it right where his heart was. Julie felt it beat wildly beneath her palm, its steady beat reminding her of her own heart; moving at the same pace, as if they were somehow in sync.

“You never left my heart, Julie. You’ve always been there, you will probably always be there. You’ve everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I’ve dared to only dream about, and suddenly you were there, and I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I could never be worthy of you.”

Chace expelled a harsh breath as he continued, “And I’ve missed you too, Jules. God, I’ve missed you. I want to be with you again Julie.”

With that, he brought his mouth closer to hers, and his lips came crashing down on hers. Julie felt the shock register through her body. The fact that he was kissing her was too real and vivid to be a dream, but it wasn’t until she felt herself respond, that all the feelings came rushing into her, all at once.

She moaned as her body automatically pushed itself closer to him, like it used to. She ran her hands up and down his back, feeling the smooth planes she once knew like the back of her hand. Her breathing became shallow as Chace’s hands traveled down her lower back, and back up again to cup her neck. He bit down gently on her lower lip until Julie gasped.

His tongue plunged into her mouth, and Julie titled her head to allow him better access as she wrapped her legs around his waist and grinded. Chace growled in the back of his throat as his hands moved down her neck and lay atop her breasts.

Julie whimpered as she pushed her breasts into his hands as she felt the fire in her body, the need for him to touch her everywhere, skyrocket. Chace began toying with her breasts over the edge of her chest, while the other hand traveled down and lay atop her crotch.

Julie took his bottom lip between her teeth and bit down until Chace was smiling against her lips. One hand stayed on the nape of his neck, while the other traveled down the edge of his shirt. Her hand paused and toyed with the tuft of hair exposed because of the undone buttons, before it moved down his happy trail, and stopped. She palmed him over the top of his trousers and gently squeezed. Chace panted as his hips bucked against her hand. His hands began to frantically move across her body until they slipped the straps of her dress down, and her breasts came spilling forward.

His eyes darkened as he noticed that Julie wasn’t wearing a bra. “You’re not wearing a bra.”

---