Page 35 of Salvatrice

9

Portofino, 2000

I woke up happy. I didn’t believe it would ever happen again, but there I was, opening my eyes and smiling. Salva was still in my arms with her back turned to me. I put my nose into her lush hazel-colored hair and inhaled. She smelled like burnt sugar and vanilla, just like her bakery did, and it was almost impossible for me to stop myself from eating her whole. I pushed her hair to the side and kissed her neck slowly, savoring every patch of skin.

Even now, while I was caressing her and enjoying the contour of her body next to mine, I couldn’t believe it wasn’t yet another one of my dreams. In six years, I never stopped praying for her return, but the rational part of me was sure there was no hope left for us. It was hard for my brain to wrap around the fact that I had her back.

I continued following the curve of her shoulder with my lips, uncovering her inch by inch. My morning erection was digging in her back and I was ready to take her again. I pushed the silk sheet lower and grabbed her breast, fondling it and that finally woke her up. To my disappointment, her response was not to return my affections, but instead, she clutched the sheets and brought them up to her chin.

“What are you doing, Roman?”

“Trying to make love to you in the morning light,” I answered with ease and pinched her nipple. Her hostile tone was not matching the reaction I was getting from her body. “Morning sex is your favorite, amore, remember? You used to wake me up before school, begging me to take you and make you cum, so you could feel me the entire day. Remember that?”

“Yes.” Her voice was breathy.

I started kissing her again and she pushed into me like a cat looking to get spoiled, but when I tried to uncover her body, she stiffened again.

“Don’t.” She stopped me and tried to put some distance between us, but I didn’t let her.

“What’s wrong, Salva? You want me, I know you do. I can feel it on my lips when they touch your skin.”

“It’s not about that. I don’t want…it’s too bright in here.”

“Bright? Is your head hurting?”

“No, Roman, I just don’t want to be naked in the daylight, ok?”

“What?” There wasn’t a part of her body that I didn’t know by heart, that I hadn’t licked, and kissed, and felt under my hands. It didn’t matter how much time had passed; I remembered her body like the palm of my hand. “Salvatrice, you have no reason to cover yourself. I see you every time I close my eyes.”

“You don’t understand.” What was there to understand? “I’m not like you remember me, Roman. I’ve had a child.”

Oh. I’ve heard such nonsense before. I walked into a fight between Gino and Muse a few months ago. He’d wanted to plan a family vacation somewhere with a beach, but Muse insisted she wasn’t going because her body was not ready for a bikini yet. I found Salva’s worries to be equally ridiculous.

“You are the most gorgeous creature that ever walked this earth.” I knew that from the first moment my eyes landed on her and not even death could change my opinion. “Salvatrice, I had you just last night.”

“That was different. Last night it was dark.” She clutched the sheet tighter.

“Enough of this.” I pulled the cover to the side forcefully enough to uncover us both.

“Roman!”

“Stop that.” I caught her arms when she tried to cover her breasts and I climbed on top of her body. “What the hell do you have to be ashamed of?”

“I don’t have the body that you fell in love with anymore,” She whispered, avoiding my eyes.

Anger started bubbling in my gut at her words. I actually took offence at what she said.

“I didn’t fall for your body, Salvatrice. I fell in love with the amazing woman that you are. The one I thought I knew.” My voice was sharper than I intended and I could see it cut her.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” When I saw her shrinking under my eyes, I instantly regretted my tone, but not my words, because I didn’t lie. Salvatrice to me was beyond beautiful, but her porcelain face and the amazing body had nothing to do with how I felt about her.

“Don’t hide from me, Salva. You did it for so long, but now I can’t bear it. Not after last night.”

There was no place on earth, heaven, or hell more amazing or where I felt closer to God than when I was inside Salvatrice. She was my absolution.

I kissed her forehead slowly, sealing this moment between us. Despite everything she believed, I did nothing to deserve her mistrust.

“Fine.” She swallowed hard before speaking again. “Let me get up then.”

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