Page 80 of Need

He fingered several small leather collars. Some were attached to chains, some had leather leashes, and others just had a small silver ring where a leash could be attached. The collars he was looking at were much too small to fit around my neck, and I wondered if maybe I’d been wrong about why he’d wanted to come here. I continued to let my gaze roam over the collars as he scrutinized them. There were all different colors, and I found myself staring at a brown leather one that had pretty pink flowers on it. It looked more like a bracelet than a collar.

Suddenly, he picked up the collar I’d been looking at and turned it over in his hands several times. He pulled on it, twisted it, unbuckled it, and then buckled it again. “Give me your arm.” I was confused, but I did what he said.

Within a few seconds, he had the collar around my wrist and secured. He then twisted my wrist left and right, examining it.

“I like it,” Logan said. “Were you looking for a chain or leather for the leash?”

“I’m thinking leather. It would be more comfortable and draw less attention,” he said, seeming distracted. Logan selected two simple brown leather leashes from the wall and handed them to Stephan. He tested them in his hands again before he attached the first one, and then the other to my wrist. The first was slightly wider than the second was, but other than that, they looked the same to me.

Without saying another word, he placed the wider leash back on the wall, and removed the collar from my wrist. Taking my hand, he walked to the front counter. “Did you find everything you need today, sir?” the young man asked.

“Yes, thank you.”

“This is from our new designer line. I’m sure your pet will like it.”

Stephan smirked. “I’m sure she will.”

It didn’t take long to complete the transaction. Stephan refused the man’s offer of a bag, and carried the collar and leash out in his other hand. Once we were back out in the mall, he led me over to a corner and put the collar back on my wrist. After he buckled it, he slipped a single finger inside. “How does that feel? Too tight?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. Actually, it felt nice. The leather was soft against my skin. He smiled, and lifted my arm so that he could place a soft kiss on my wrist just above the cuff before attaching the leash. Even though he wasn’t pulling, I could feel the slight tug on my wrist immediately. I was surprised at how much I liked the feeling.

His finger lifted my chin. “Number?”

I smiled. “Two.”

He grinned, and wrapped the leash around his own wrist and then his hand. The length of leash between his hand and my wrist was only about four inches. I could move, but I wasn’t going very far. It probably didn’t make sense why this made me feel safer and more tied to him than holding his hand, but it did. This felt stronger somehow.

The only thing was that I did miss the warmth of his touch. Having the leash meant he wasn’t holding my hand anymore. The leather was warm and comforting, but it wasn’t a substitute for feeling his skin. Although this did make me feel safer, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it otherwise.

Logan headed off first, with Lily close behind. Stephan and I followed. We ended up at a large department store. Everything was okay until we reached the women’s clothing section. There were people everywhere, mostly women, and everyone seemed to have an armload of clothes. When I saw how crowded it was, I was glad Stephan bought the leash and collar. I knew he’d hold onto it no matter what.

Lily asked Logan if she could shop, and once he gave his permission she was off and running. She walked up and down a few aisles before stopping and motioning for me. I glanced up at Stephan. He nodded, and we walked over to where she was. She flipped through clothes, checked tags, and held some up to herself. Others she held against me. I just stood there, not sure what else to do. It reminded me a lot of the other time Lily had taken me shopping.

Slowly, a pile began to build and soon she turned to Logan. “May I try these on, Sir?”

“Yes, but you only have ten minutes.”

She nodded, picked up the pile of clothes she’d accumulated, and walked quickly to the dressing rooms. The three of us walked at a much slower pace to stand a few feet away from the fitting room entrance to wait.

I watched as twenty-two different women passed us before Lily came out again, and I wondered if I’d ever be that brave. Even though they were women and not men, I wasn’t sure I could do it. Maybe. I knew there were separate rooms, but I’d still know I was surrounded, yet alone. The women also seemed more aggressive today. I’d watched a few bump into each other in a race to get to an open fitting room.

Lily held up five dresses for Logan’s approval. He looked at each and accepted all but one. She frowned, but didn’t argue.

When she came back from returning the unaccepted dress, however, she had three more dresses hanging over her arm. “I thought these would look good on Brianna.” She looked at Logan when she spoke, and after he nodded, she turned to Stephan. He picked up each dress one at a time. The first two he dismissed almost immediately. The third, however, he held up against me before placing it over his arm.

It took longer to check out this time since there were so many people. When it was Stephan’s turn, he released the part of the leash that he’d been holding, leaving only the end around his wrist connecting us. I felt the loss of tension, but the weight was still there. A woman standing a few feet away saw the leash dangling from Stephan’s wrist, but my arm was down at my side so she couldn’t see anything else. Even still, I stepped closer to him and he reached down to squeeze my hand before finishing the transaction.

The rest of the afternoon was spent much the same way, going from store to store. Lily ended up finding me three other outfits: two more dresses and a pants suit. They were all nice, but I preferred pants to dresses if I had a choice. Lily seemed to be just the opposite. Even today, she was wearing a nice dress and sandals.

When we finished shopping, it was after five and Stephan suggested we all went to Tony’s for pizza. I was hungry, but I wanted to get home. I needed to be close to him. He would hold me and kiss me out in public, but it wasn’t the same.

I felt bad. Lily tried to talk to me all through dinner, but I didn’t feel like contributing. Eventually, she gave up and listened to the men’s conversation. I caught bits and pieces, but I wasn’t really paying attention either. Instead, I took the opportunity to hold Stephan’s hand under the table. I’d been reluctant to reach for it, but then decided if I made the wrong choice he’d let me know. Instead, he’d eagerly laced our fingers, placing our hands on his thigh and kept them there.

By the time we arrived home, I was more than ready when he told me to get my things for what was becoming our nightly shower routine. It was hard to believe this didn’t frighten me anymore. I wanted to touch him, and I wanted him to touch me.

Chapter Twenty-One

Stephan

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