Page 13 of Need

“Yes,” she said. “Every Dom is different, but I know you’re most concerned with how Stephan is.”

I nodded again and tried to keep my mind in the present. The last thing I needed was to fall into a memory. This was information I needed to know.

“Stephan is always fair with his punishments. I’ve never known him to be overly harsh, but they are still punishments.”

Lily grabbed my hand again. I realized it was shaking. “Are you all right, Brianna?”

I heard her, but I didn’t know how to answer her. Was I all right?

Her grip on my hand tightened. “Brianna?”

I registered movement around us, but not what it was. There was Lily’s hand, keeping me from slipping from reality.

“Brianna? Say something. Please?”

“I’m...” I was trying hard. “I don’t... I don’t know... if I can... do it... Lily.”

The next thing I knew, Lily had her arms wrapped around me in a hug. I leaned into her. “What is it that you don’t think you can do?” she asked.

“Be his submissive. I don’t think I... can,” I said almost choking. The thought of leaving him was painful, but I would have to if I couldn’t give him what he wanted. I’d have no choice.

Lily just held me. It was nice, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted it to be his arms instead of hers.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I began sobbing again. She tried to soothe me and eventually, I did calm down.

I looked down and noticed our untouched meals. Lily didn’t seem bothered by this at all, as she began talking again. “I know you’re scared, Brianna, but you shouldn’t be.”

We were now both sitting up in our seats again, and she encouraged me to start eating. I took a few bites of the duck. It was good, so I ate more.

“Do you like sitting in Stephan’s lap?”

I nodded, but she seemed frustrated.

“How do you feel about kneeling? I know you do that when he comes home.”

I stopped eating and thought about it. How did I feel? It was something I’d done out of habit. Something I’d not really thought about before.

When I didn’t answer, she continued. “Do you like it? Does it make you feel anything?”

“It...” I stopped and thought about it for a minute. “I like when he touches my hair,” I whispered, thinking back to how his hand would feel running through my hair. How he’d say ‘Good evening, Brianna’ in that voice of his that made me feel safe and secure.

Lily smiled. “So you don’t hate it. How do you feel about serving him? Doing things for him?”

Again, I thought about it. When he was happy, I was happy. It was very hard to explain, but I tried.

“What is it about being a submissive that scares you so much? Aside from the pain, of course,” she asked.

Here it goes. “I’m not sure if I can be what he wants. I mean, I’d have to do everything he says, right?”

Lily took a few bites of her fish before answering. “That’s partially true. I mean you do have to do what he tells you when you’re playing, but you always have your safewords if you feel you need them.”

“What do you mean when we’re playing?”

When I asked that question, her eyes lit up. “Well, not every couple plays all the time. Logan and I are pretty much like a normal couple during the week. It’s only on weekends that he is my Master,” she said.

“Is that what Stephan will want?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s something you’ll have to discuss with him. He’s only had two collared submissives though, and with those, they only played on weekends, too. During the week, they would go out. Date. One would never know what they did on the weekends.” Lily smirked.

---