She didn’t say anything as I threw my suit jacket in the backseat and then grabbed the food and the blanket I kept in the trunk. I helped her out of the vehicle, balancing the food and the blanket in one arm, and laced our fingers together. It was a gorgeous spring day in Minneapolis, and I wanted to share it with her. I also thought it would be good for her to be around people in what I hoped was a less-threatening environment.
I found a spot not far from the wading pond. We were close to the Mississippi River—I could hear the sound of flowing water in the distance—but it was out of view. If things went well, maybe we’d walk down to where we could see it after we ate.
First things first, however. I gave her hand a squeeze before releasing it and set the food down on the grass near the base of a large maple tree. Looking over the area, it looked level enough, and I spread out the blanket. She stood watching with her hands balled into fists at her side.
After straightening the blanket, I motioned for her to join me. She hurried over to sit down. I smiled and handed her the container with her cheeseburger.
We sat in silence for a while, eating. Brianna hadn’t relaxed. She would take a bite of her burger and then glance up, her eyes darting from side to side at all the people around us. The nearest person was over twenty feet away. I didn’t understand what had her so nervous unless it was the openness of the environment itself.
I sighed and reached for her, situating her between my legs, her back against my chest. As soon as we made contact, the tension began to release from her muscles. Even though I loved that my touch calmed her, Brianna needed to find strength within herself as well.
“Close your eyes,” I whispered in her ear.
It took her only a moment’s pause before she complied.
“Good girl,” I said, placing a kiss on her shoulder. “Now tell me what you hear.”
“People.”
I smiled. Such a simple answer, but not what I was looking for. Lily had told me what happened the other day while I was at the office. Although Brianna had managed to find her way back to the present without me, it had taken nearly twenty minutes. Lily had been frightened seeing Brianna like that, completely unaware of her surroundings. I’d taken the time while I was working from home on Thursday to do some research.
“What about the people? What do you hear them doing?”
She was quiet for several very long minutes. I watched as she scrunched up her nose, pressed her lips together, and tilted her head. It was extremely cute, and the urge to kiss her surfaced, but I forced myself to remain still and allow her to follow through on the exercise.
“Kids... splashing in water. A woman... laughing. Someone running?”
She paused.
“Anything else?”
“Dogs barking.” She smiled. “They sound happy.”
I wrapped her in my arms and held her close, my nose skimming along her neck to her ear. “Very good. And do any of those things sound like they are going to cause you harm?”
“No.” Her response was quiet, barely even a sound at all. Of course, that probably had something to do with my mouth on her neck and my hand creeping up her bare thigh. I’d wanted to distract her, and I was pleased to have accomplished my goal.
“Open your eyes, Brianna.”
She opened her eyes and blinked against the sunlight.
“Do you see the people now? They are still doing all the things you heard. Just because you can see them doesn’t make them any more frightening.”
She didn’t respond, but I knew she’d heard as she looked around again. I could almost see her mind working through the new concept. Just like with the cane, she had to learn that it wasn’t the thing—or in this case, people—that was the danger. It was the person themselves.
“When you feel frightened by a situation, I want you to stop and listen. Concentrate on what is around you, what’s happening in the here and now, not the past, and decide if it’s truly a danger.”
Brianna nodded and sank back against my chest. I tightened my hold on her and kissed the exposed skin on her neck where her hair had fallen to the side.
Although everything felt right for the moment, I knew we needed to talk. I took her hand in mine, rubbing my thumb over her fingers. “Tell me what upset you earlier in my office. Did something happen while I was gone?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Why where you crying?”
“I was... I don’t know,” she whispered.
Turning her around in my arms so I could see her face, I tilted her chin up so I could look in her eyes. “Yes, you do. What was going through that head of yours?”