Page 51 of Truth

“Don’t worry about me being here, Brianna. Write how you normally do. You can use my name.”

Stephan had his arm wrapped around me, his hand on my breast. The sun was shining through the window, signaling the start of another day, but I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay there in bed with him.

He kissed me, and I felt even warmer. But after a couple of minutes, he left the bed to get ready for work. I could already feel the separation. I didn’t want him to leave, even though I knew he had to. I never want him to leave me.

I glanced up at him. He was watching me, but I couldn’t read the emotion in his face.

He smiled and then gave me a quick kiss. “No stopping now, sweetheart. Keep going.”

I turned back to my journal.

We had breakfast, I made eggs and toast. Then he had to go. I stood just inside the door and watched him leave on the new monitor. When I saw him step into the elevator and disappear from the screen, I finally moved away, knowing I had almost ten hours before I would see him again.

I cleaned up the kitchen and loaded the dishes into the machine before going into the living room and picking up one of the books Lily had brought over for me. I like the book. Jake is funny. He is so out of his element in the city. The only women he’s really been around were his mom, who was a rodeo rider, and a couple of local girls who’d also grown up on ranches. He’s awkward and charming at the same time.

When he met Ronnie, she was everything all the other women he’d known weren’t, and he liked that about her. It made me wonder about relationships in general.

“Go on,” he said when I stopped writing.

I turned my head to the side and pressed my face against his chest. He smelled of soap and something else that was distinctly him. It comforted me and made me want to kiss him all at the same time.

He hugged me tighter to his chest. “Waiting isn’t going to make it any easier. He isn’t here. He can’t hurt you. You don’t have to write down everything that was said. I just want to know how it made you feel.”

I nodded and turned back to my journal.

When the phone rang, I didn’t want to put my book down, but I knew it could be Stephan so I answered it. As soon as I heard his voice, I knew it wasn’t and I began to get nervous. All I wanted to do was hang up, not listen to him, but for some reason, I couldn’t make myself do it.

Then he said...

The pen started shaking. Then I realized it wasn’t the pen, it was me.

Stephan took hold of my free hand and squeezed. “Deep breaths, Brianna. You’re doing great. Just a little more.”

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like walls were closing in on me and I couldn’t get out. He dismissed what had happened to me like it didn’t matter.

Like I didn’t matter.

Stephan removed the journal from my hands, gathered me in his arms, and laid my head on his shoulder. “You matter, Brianna. You always matter. Don’t ever think you don’t.”

I cried against his shoulder, soaking his shirt. He didn’t say anything, only held me until the crying stopped.

“I got your shirt all wet.”

He ignored my comment. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes.”

Stephan took my face in both his hands and kissed me. “I want you to do something for me.”

I nodded. I’d do anything for him.

“I’m going to talk to Brad about teaching us some self-defense. We can add it to our workouts. I think it will help you with your confidence.”

“You mean... learning to hit people?”

He chuckled.

“Kind of. But I was thinking more learning to get away from someone. I don’t want you to ever feel helpless, Brianna.”

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