Page 21 of Truth

It was my turn stay silent. What did I want? I knew I wasn’t ready to see him again. Maybe I never would. That’s all I knew for sure right now.

“I... I don’t want to see him.”

“Okay.” He paused. “I don’t know what I’ll tell him, but I’ll figure out something.”

“Thank you, Cal.”

“I’d do anything for you, Anna. I hope you know that.”

After that, we talked a little about his morning. He told me how he’d gone to a jobsite where there’d been a water main break and he’d had to wear boots up to his waist to walk through the basement. His description of him walking in the bulky rubber made me laugh.

He didn’t ask any more about Stephan or John. I got the feeling he knew it would upset me if he did. All too soon he had to go, and we said good-bye. He promised to call me again soon.

When I hung up the phone, Lily was still sitting beside me. The frown was gone, but she still looked concerned. I didn’t want her to worry.

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded.

“All right,” she said, hesitant.

The two of us sat for a long time, not saying anything. I knew she was waiting on me. She had to have heard what Stephan had said to me before he left, that he wanted me to talk to her, and she was obviously giving me time.

I hated that I was so nervous. I didn’t like being afraid. Ian had always waxed me himself. He’d made sure it was as painful as possible, and it had usually been followed by some kind of sex. I would already be sore from the waxing, and he would always wear a big smile when he’d see me wince or try to get away from him, knowing I was strapped down and not going anywhere.

As I relived the memory, breathing became more difficult. My chest constricted, and I felt trapped all over again.

“Brianna?”

I didn’t answer. Lily sounded far away.

“Brianna? Can you hear me?”

I felt her hands on my arms, my face.

Not real. It’s not real.

I tried to take a deep breath. Then another, fighting the images I was seeing. Lily is real. She’s here. Now.

The pressure in my chest eased. My breathing slowed down, and I began to feel calmer. I had no idea how much time had passed before I opened my eyes again and looked at Lily.

“Better?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Do you need me to call Stephan for you?”

I shook my head.

I did want him there, but I also knew he was working. As much as I wanted him with me, I knew I was safe. Lily wouldn’t hurt me, and it was just her and me. I was fine. I would be fine.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

I swallowed.

“I was... remembering.” Just mentioning it again had my chest tightening, my breath quickening. I grabbed hold of Lily’s hand, wishing it were Stephan’s.

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