Page 88 of The Key to My Heart

‘Hey,’ is all he says.

‘Are you … are you okay? You look like you’ve seen – aghost.A – oh shit, you haven’t seen any koalas out there on the loose, have you?’I laugh. He doesn’t.

‘Natalie, I need to ask you something,’ he says, and instantly, my entire body flashes hot. From my head, to my toes.

‘Okay.’ I swallow, coming out from the behind the counter. ‘What is it?’

He doesn’t move. The atmosphere in the shop, despite the heating, is icy. An upbeat pop song thumps quietly away from the shop’s speakers. No. No, he can’t know, surely.

‘Did you … did you see my dad with someone else?’

It feels like someone has just placed a bomb between us on the floor.

‘Priya mentioned something at Lucy’s birthday, and I just – sort of swept it under the carpet. Put it down to crossed wires. But, last night, Mum’s friend Amma, said she was outside at the anniversary, having a cigarette and – she heard someone on the phone. She thought it was you, and you were saying …’

‘Oh my God, Tom, honestly—’

‘Did you know?’ he asks, calmly. ‘Just – answer me that, Natalie. Did you know and tell everybody else, everybody else whose business itisn’t, before me? BeforeMum?’

My heart stills and my body rushes with so much adrenaline it’s like someone just stuck a syringe full of it in my neck.

‘Tom, I didn’t know. Not until I saw him at the anniversary and then … then I didn’t know what to do.’

‘What about after it?’ asks Tom.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I plead, stepping towards him. ‘Is Shauna okay?’

Tom shrugs heavily. ‘She’s … fucking heartbroken. It’s a mess, Natalie. The whole thing is a mess. But I just … I can’t process the fact you knew. I mean, we talk abouteverything—’

‘But I didn’t know what to do.’

‘You … you sat with me on those steps. We went out for your friend’s birthday, for God’s sake—’

‘You said you didn’t want to be scared anymore, that you wanted to trust and—’

‘Trust,’ says Tom. ‘Honestly, Nat, at the moment, I just feel the world is full of liars. I don’t know who to trust. I’m – exhausted.’

‘But I never lied, I just … ’ God. I suddenly understand Joe. What he kept from me, and why. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you. But I was going to tell you tonight. Iwas.’

‘But you told everyone else.’

‘I only told Jodie, purely because I didn’t know what to do. She must’ve told Priya and – I can’t imagine how shit it must’ve been to hear that from someone else but—’

Tom shakes his head, runs a large hand through his dark hair, and God, his gorgeous face – he looks gutted. ‘I need some space, Natalie,’ he says. Then he reaches forward, and on the counter, he places a brown envelope. My heart feels like it’s stopped. Like it’s split, right down the middle. ‘I was going to give you this tonight, so …’

And he turns, moves towards the shop door.

‘Tom, please,’ I say.

‘And I do trust you,’ he says. ‘Did. More than anyone.’

And he walks away, the little, joyful bell, dinging as he does.

I swoop to the counter, my heart banging, my head whooshing. On the front of the envelope, the handwriting reads ‘For the spark’. I tear it open. Inside, are three photos, and three pieces of sheet music. A photo of the strawberry tarts attached to a piece of music for ‘Strawberry Swing’, by Coldplay. A photo of Camden Town tube station and the piece of music for Electric Light Orchestra’s ‘Last Train to London’. And now,of course, it all makes perfect sense. The last photo, is one of the moon he took the night with me, on the steps, and the last piece of music is ‘Moonlight Drive’ by The Doors.

Tom carried it on. For the spark.

I feel them bubbling up – a fountain of tears. And at the exact moment they spill over the edge, they arrive through the doors– Roxanne and Lucy.

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