Page 85 of The Key to My Heart

Will chuckles warmly beside her, lifts a chicken skewer to his mouth, clamps it between his teeth.

‘Course,’ smiles Priya. ‘Do you want us to come with you? Will’ll come with you.’

‘No, don’t be silly. Both of you, stay on those chairs.’

I leave money with Priya for when the bill arrives and I know I’ve given too much, but it’s like I’m buying my exit or something – buying my peace.

‘Where’s Luce?’ I ask Priya.

‘Oh, she’s gone to meet someone at the station, they’re lost. That Australian. That friend of hers, who’s just back from travelling.’

I look round at the buzzing busy table. She won’t mind if I leave without saying goodbye. There’re somany people here. So many people I know she hasn’t seen for years, people she can’t tear herself away from, catching up, swapping news and life stories.

I make my way over to Tom and Gigi. I place my hand on his arm. ‘So sorry to interrupt. But I’m going to leave.’

‘You’re going?’

‘Yeah, I figure I’ve eaten too much and it’s getting late and I have work first thing—’

‘Let me – Shall I—’

‘No. No, no!’ God, I sound like the TV presenters Nick used to watch when he was a toddler. High-pitched. Slightly unhinged.Are we having fun, guuuuys?‘Stay.’ I force a big ‘I’m fine’ smile. ‘I’ll text you later,’ I say. ‘Gigi, so lovely to meet you.’ And when Tom stands to hug me, and I loop my arms around his neck, and when he draws back and smiles down at me, handsome, warm and safe, I feel like I might burst into tears.

Out on the pavement, I feel it swelling in my belly, like a storm gathering. What is this? What is this I’m feeling? It’s … Tom. It is. I like him. I do.I.Like. Tom. Oh, God. I do. I really do.

‘Natalie?’

I turn on the damp concrete. Roxanne stands there, her ruby red dress flapping open in the wind. She grabs at the split.

‘Hey.’

I wait for her to tell me I’ve forgotten something, that I’ve left my purse behind, left my phone, but I can tell by her face: she’s furious. She’s angry. She’s angry with me.

‘Are you seriously going home? Now?’

There’s a beat, as I step away for someone to pass me on the pavement. ‘Sorry?’

‘Are you honestly going to leave this party and go home?’

‘Rox, I’ve been here for three hours—’

Roxanne laughs bitterly, shakes her head. ‘You haven’t stayed for the cake. You haven’t even seen her open the present we got her. Or any of her presents for that matter.’

‘Roxanne—’

‘Tom is still in there,’ she says, her words short. ‘Your bloodydateis still in there.’

‘He isn’t my date, he’s … And he doesn’t mind, he wanted to stay—’

‘What are you doing?’ Roxanne shrugs, her arms out at her sides, then heavily drops them again. A bracelet on her wrist jangles. ‘I know you’re hurting. I know you are. But you are so far up your own arse that you can’t for a minute see that other people matter.’

I feel like someone has choked the life out of me.

‘Roxanne, what are you talking about? I left a party slightlyearly—’

‘And you lie.’

‘Lie?’

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