Page 98 of The Fallback

‘Remind me how you know about all this? About Mitch’s move?’ asked Jasmine after a while.

‘Ben told me,’ Rosie said morosely.

‘Ben, as in Ben who has a thing for you?’ Jasmine asked.

Susan’s ears pricked up. ‘Who’s Ben?’

‘No one, Mum,’ Rosie said wearily, not wanting to throw another red herring into this already complex situation. ‘And he doesn’t have a thing for me,’ she directed at Jasmine.

Jasmine shrugged but looked unconvinced. ‘I’m just saying that maybe you should consider talking to Mitch? Get his side of the story? And ask for his help deleting that email while you’re at it.’

‘No,’ said Rosie definitively.

‘Rosie,’ began Susan, ‘I really think you should.’ Rosie said nothing, which just encouraged Susan, so she continued. ‘Come on, Rosie, this isn’t like you. You’re normally so logical. I do think hearing him out might give you the clarity you need.’

‘I’m fed up with being logical!’ she exclaimed. ‘It’s got me nowhere. I don’t want to hear his side, Mum! And I don’t want to ask him for help!’ she began to wail. ‘I don’t want to get hurt again!’ Tears leaked down her face.

‘Oh, Rosie,’ Susan said and grabbed Rosie’s hand. ‘None of us want to see you get hurt, either!’

‘For a fleeting moment, I thought everything was going to be OK between me and Mitch,’ Rosie said, looking at her mum. ‘I felt happy, really happy, like life had finally worked out the way it was supposed to work out. The way I had alwayswantedit to work out.’

Susan made comforting shushing noises while Jasmine looked thoughtful.

‘Does Mitch know you know about New York?’ she asked eventually.

‘I don’t know,’ replied Rosie sniffling a little, ‘I’m not sure.’

‘Has he tried to contact you since you saw Ben?’

Rosie shook her head.

Jasmine looked surprised. ‘He hasn’t called? Messaged?’ Rosie shook her head again. ‘You have got your phone turned on, right?’ Jasmine asked, her eyes narrowed.

Rosie balled up the tissue she was holding. ‘No’ she said in a small voice.

‘Rosie!’ said both her mother and Jasmine in unison.

‘I don't want to talk to him, OK? I don’t care what he tries to tell me. I don’t understand how he gets from let’s have a baby together and declaring he has feelings for me, to leaving the country and moving to America.’ Tears continued rolling down her cheeks. ‘I’m so hurt and scared. I finally thought we’d worked things out, that maybe hewasthe one, and now it turns out he’s not. He can’t feel the same way as I do.’

‘I just think you should hear his side,’ said Jasmine tentatively. ‘Susan?’ she asked, looking for backup.

‘I agree, sweetheart,’ said Susan putting her arm around Rosie’s shoulder. ‘But maybe when you’re ready?’ she said consolingly.

* * *

Rosie still wasn’t ready the next morning after having spent the night at Jasmine and Chris’s. The day before, she had eventually persuaded Jasmine and her mum to go and do their Christmas shopping. Assuring them that she would be fine without them and promising not to do anything stupid. Like sending intimate details of her boss’s private life to the national newspapers again.

Rosie gagged every time she thought about it. So far, Rachel didn’t seem to know and hadn’t noticed that Rosie wasn't in work. Nadia was keeping Rosie updated from her vantage point in the lab. She said that every time she had seen Rachel, she had been uncharacteristically chatty and friendly, even going so far as to ask Nadia how her kids were.

‘Definitely not the sign of someone who knows that their sex tape has been leaked.’

‘It’s not a sex tape!’ Rosie protested.

‘Same thing,’ Nadia said in a manner that made Rosie suspect she was not taking this situation as seriously as Rosie had hoped. ‘I brought a spare jacket from home and draped it over the back of your chair, and I turn the light on and off and open the door and stuff each time I walk past. It’s quite fun!’

She then proceeded to tell Rosie a long and involved story about a man who had fooled all his colleagues this way for months, while all the time he had, in reality, been lying dead in his flat instead.

‘So, he wasn’t actually trying to fool them?’ Rosie asked. ‘He wasactuallydead?’ She sighed. ‘Nadia, remind me how that story is supposed to make me feel better?’

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