Page 94 of The Fallback

Bloody Christmas shoppers thought Rosie as she tearfully pushed her way through the crowds on the tube. She looked forlornly at the woman with the half a dozen Hamleys bags and tried not to cry. When Rosie was a kid, her mum would take her and Chris to Hamleys at Christmas and they would be allowed to pick one thing out as a treat.

And then Rosie remembered more recent Christmases: going up to Regent Street with Mitch to see the Christmas lights, drinking mulled wine in cosy pubs. Last-minute dashes to the shops because Mitch had forgotten yet another Christmas present that he desperately needed. The year he bought her the most beautiful cashmere jumper he found in Liberty’s which she was gutted as it turned out to be completely the wrong size and he had then surprised her at her flat, whisking her off in a cab to exchange it for the right size instead. She remembered shopping in Hamleys with him for presents for Rory and Joe; he was always so much better at picking out the things they would love. And then she suddenly felt a weird longing to take her own children to Hamleys one day. And let them pick out a toy, just as she had done as a child. Rosie felt the tears welling up in her eyes again and turned quickly away only to end up looking straight at a couple who were wearing matching Christmas hats and staring soppily into each other’s eyes. The only explanation being that they were celebrating their first Christmas together.

Rosie fought those tears; it wasn’t as if she was even sure she had wanted kids before bloody Mitch had put the idea in her head. And now she was imagining taking them to Hamleys! And she was a hundred per cent certain that she had never wanted to wear matching festive hats with anyone, even with Mitch. She made a solemn vow to herself that if she was ever, ever lucky enough to get over Mitch and to find someone else then they would never, ever wear any kind of matching clothing. The girl in the hat turned and caught Rosie’s eye and smiled at her, in the way someone does when they’re happy and all is right in their world. But the girl’s smile faltered when she saw the tears on Rosie’s cheeks.

As soon as her tube came above ground, she dialled Nadia’s number frantically. She knew she should have done this before disappearing into the underground but she was so panicked by Ben’s revelations that she just wanted to disappear.

‘You have to tell me everything!’ Nadia demanded.

‘What?’ Rosie asked.

‘You and Mitch!’ Nadia shouted excitedly down the phone. ‘What happened? Did he declare his undying love for you? Iknewhe would,’ she continued, not giving Rosie a chance to interject. ‘Is he coming to the party with you? As in properlywithyou this year? I’m so excited.’

‘Party?’ Rosie said dumbly.

‘The party?’ Nadia replied. ‘Rachel’s party?’

Rosie shook her head, Rachel’s party, which was coming up in a couple of days’ time, was the furthest thing from her mind. If Rachel had found out about Rosie’s errant email she doubted she would still be welcome.

‘Is Mitch coming with you? What are you wearing, by the way? Actually, don’t tell me, I don’t have time to discuss wardrobe choices right now, that marvellous Mitch of yours has got me so many contacts to follow up with. I bloody love him.’

Rosie’s response came in the form of a strangled noise. Right now, she didn’t really feel like celebrating Mitch’s marvellousness, bloody or otherwise.

‘Nadia, something really bad has happened.’

‘What is it?’

‘Remember that email chain I showed you?’ Rosie asked. ‘The one with Rachel and the VC and the…’

Nadia started chuckling down the phone. ‘How could I forget?’ she laughed. ‘I think about it every time I catch a glimpse of either of them.’

‘Yes, right. Well, you know you said not to do anything stupid like forwarding it on to someone…’ Rosie let that hang there. There was an audibly dramatic intake of breath from the other end of the phone line.

‘Oh, god, Rosie. No!’

‘Yep,’ confirmed Rosie grimly.

‘Who to?’

‘I accidentally sent it toThe Post’s communications team on the bottom of the press release.’

Rosie held her phone away from her ear. Either this was a terrible connection or Nadia was struggling to contain her laughter.

‘It’s not funny!’ wailed Rosie. ‘What am I going to do? Rachel is going to kill me!’

‘Can’t you ask Mitch?’ Nadia asked matter-of-factly. ‘Can’t he just go see his comms team and get them to delete it?’

Rosie ran her hand over her face. If only it was that easy. If only she’d realised this had happened before she’d found out about Mitch’s plan to move to New York. Or better still, it hadn’t happened at all and she could be happily in her lab, messing about with petri dishes.

‘I don’t really think I can,’ Rosie’s voice broke.

‘Why?’ Nadia suddenly sounded full of concern. ‘Rosie, what’s happened?’

‘It’s complicated…we slept together.’

‘What!!!!’ Nadia exploded down the phone. ‘You did? Last night? Oh, my god, Rosie you have so much to tell me! How did it happen?’

‘Erm, do you need a diagram?’

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